Secret Millionaire for the Surrogate

His lashes lay on the crests of his cheeks, his lips slightly open. She sighed as she remembered those lips on hers, so beguiling. She was still in awe that he seemed to find her attractive. Most men found her...plain. Or friend material, someone good for a laugh but not as a love interest. Or, like Jared, they found her disposable. Good for a while but not exciting enough to hang on to.

But Drew, with his shaggy hair and dancing eyes, made her feel special.

Maybe she should enjoy that while she could. He’d already said he’d be leaving soon, once the details on the property were signed. He had a number of other stores to run, after all. But for a few weeks...

She closed her eyes again, just for a moment, and let herself imagine what it would be like if this was real life. If he were a husband and she were a wife and this was their baby. And this was their porch and a stolen afternoon together, with the bees buzzing around and the birds singing in the trees. It filled her heart with an ache so sharp she nearly caught her breath.

She wanted that kind of life, and if her past dating history was any indication, she might never have it. She tended to have a lot of first and second dates, but after that either she decided they weren’t for her or they moved on. Yeah, she was cautious—who wouldn’t be? So when men told her she was “cold” or “too guarded,” she figured they weren’t willing to put in the effort.

She certainly hadn’t come close to anything like she’d had with Jared, and that had been a farce from the beginning. The closest she might get was this moment, right now. The stolen kiss this afternoon and a nap on the front porch in the sunlight. She tucked both memories into her heart for safekeeping.

A snuffle came from the other end of the swing and she opened her eyes again. Drew was waking, his dark eyes slightly unfocused and a sheepish smile on his face. “I guess I nodded off along with you.”

“It’s cozy. Did you hear from the agent?”

“We’re countering. I’m expecting another call soon.”

She nodded but still didn’t move to sit up. Once she did, the moment would be truly gone. Right now his hand was rubbing absently on her ankle. She wasn’t even sure he knew he was doing it, but it felt incredible and she wasn’t in any hurry for him to stop.

“Do you find yourself sleepy a lot with the pregnancy?”

She was surprised at the question, and nodded a little. “Yeah. Not bone tired all the time, but there are definitely times when I think I could easily go for a nap. Like today. Why do you ask?”

His thumb rubbed behind her anklebone. Ahhhh.

“I might have googled a bit.”

She laughed. “Really?”

“Really. After you were sick the other day, I wondered. You women go through a lot to have kids.”

“That’s...kind of sweet of you.”

His thumb stopped circling, but his hand wrapped around her ankle reassuringly. “You’re carrying my niece or nephew, and putting your body through all of these changes for someone else. That’s pretty damned selfless. I guess I never really thought about the small things that would affect you. What’s been the hardest so far?”

She thought about it for a moment, wondering if she dare speak the truth. He was Dan’s brother. What if she spilled and he went back to Dan and told him what she said? Trust didn’t come easily to her, but she trusted Adele and that was where her loyalty lay.

But she hesitated too long, and he leaned over a little, examining her face. “What is it? Is there something wrong?”

“No, of course not,” she replied. “We had an appointment earlier in the week and everything is great. We got to hear the heartbeat.”

“I heard!” He smiled and straightened, then his face fell. “You don’t look thrilled. What’s going on?”

“If I tell you, I’m going to sound like the worst person alive.”

“I doubt it. But try me.”

She swallowed against a lump in her throat. “I shouldn’t be surprised that I feel...attached. I mean, I knew that would happen when I offered to do this. I also thought that I would remind myself that I’m just the incubator, that the baby is Dan and Adele’s. Intellectually I know that’s true. Emotionally I’m finding it harder than I expected. Hearing the heartbeat made it so real. There’s a little human inside of me, Drew, and I find that wonderful and surreal and overwhelming. It’s a little odd. I made all these assurances to Dan and Adele that they’d be involved every step of the way, but when we heard the heartbeat and they were celebrating, it was me who felt left out.”

She let out a huge breath. “And I’m totally aware how selfish that sounds. Why should I feel left out?”

“Because you’re human. I’m sorry, Harper.”

“Don’t be sorry. Like I said, intellectually, I know this is going to work out how it should—with Dan and Adele having a beautiful baby. But if I feel this attached now, how will I feel when he or she starts kicking? Or when they are born?” She thought about her own adoptive mother and sighed. “My mom always said motherhood was more about heart than biology. I’m finding it hard not to think of myself as a mother. Sometimes I think I need to protect myself from having these feelings somehow.”

He didn’t say anything, and when the silence drew out, she admitted, “And who knows if I’ll ever have my own?”

Drew sat up straighter and puckered his eyebrows. “Why wouldn’t you? You’re not even thirty yet. You have lots of time.”