Secret Millionaire for the Surrogate
“So what did they say?”
“What?”
“The women. What did they say?”
“Harper...”
“I know you don’t want to have this conversation, but I care about you, Drew. And you care about me. I know you do.” He had to, because she’d told him things she hadn’t told anyone and she couldn’t believe that he would be callous after that.
“I do. God, Harper, so much. And that’s the problem.” He turned and looked at her, his dark eyes tortured. “I can’t do this. I can’t be with you and be casual about it, and I can’t offer you more. I can’t do this.”
She felt as if she’d been slapped. “I never asked you to ‘do this.’ Whatever ‘this’ is.”
“I know that.” His voice raised a bit, and then he let out a huff of air. “I know that. And yeah, we talked about it. But talking and doing are two different things. I’m leaving to go back to California in a few days.”
“That hasn’t changed.”
“Harper.”
“I know. I’m putting you on the spot. But I’m feeling...” She struggled to find the right words, and then knew what the sinking feeling in her stomach was. “I’m feeling blindsided all over again. It’s not you, it’s me right? That’s what you were going to say? Thanks for the fun but see ya?”
“You knew this was going to happen.”
“But not now. Not...yet.”
She wouldn’t cry. She wouldn’t. But she’d felt so alive the past few weeks. He’d made her laugh. Challenged her. Kissed her in the middle of the street and bought her ice cream. She’d seen the pictures he’d taken on top of the mountain. Of her. Almost all of her.
Light began to glimmer, along with a little hope. “Do you love me, Drew?”
His lips dropped open in surprise. “What?”
“Do. You. Love. Me.” She said each word deliberately. “Is that what has you running?”
He swallowed, his throat bobbing, while her heart beat crazily in her chest. “No,” he whispered, the word filling the car with finality. “And today I realized you will always be the woman who wants to put down roots. To have the place to belong you never had. That’s not me, Harper, and I can’t lead you on and let you pretend it is. I’m always going to be the one who needs to keep moving. I can’t be fenced in.”
“Why? What scares you so much?”
He didn’t answer, and she knew he wasn’t going to, either. It was what it was and nothing she said would change it.
“Those women...the bride wants babies right away. They’re buying a house two blocks from her parents and he’s working for an insurance company. My God, that’s my worst nightmare.”
Anger started to seep in past the confusion and hurt. “Did I ever say I wanted any of that?”
“No, but you do want roots. You made that clear. Your life is here. You finally have a home.”
“And would living here be so bad? You’d be close to your brother. In the mountains. You’d have a store here.”
She took a pause and added, “And I’d be here.”
“So you do want it, even if you didn’t say it.”
“Maybe,” she shot back. “But I knew you didn’t. So I never brought it up. I feel like you’re blaming me for something I didn’t even do.”
The interior of the car went silent and they both stared out the window. Yes, she’d fallen in love with him, but she’d never made any demands. She’d known better. And instead he’d turned around and ruined what might have been a few wonderful last days together.
That was what she’d wanted. No unrealistic expectations. But a perfect week of happiness. Something to show her she was worth it. Instead she got this. Excuses because he was afraid.
She turned in her seat and looked over at him. For years she’d closed herself off from feeling. Don’t get wrapped up in someone and they can’t hurt you. She’d done it as a girl with friends. As a teen and then a young woman with relationships—she’d always been the first to leave or break it off so she was in control of the hurting. Jared’s abandonment had only confirmed that philosophy.