Secret Millionaire for the Surrogate

The shower was already running and Harper stepped inside, holding on to a bar for stability. She felt fine, really. At least physically. Now that the pains were over, she was tired. And the nurse was right. The hot water felt heavenly.

But as she stood under the spray, tears came to her eyes and slipped down her cheeks. Her breath came in sharp gasps and she tried to be quiet so she didn’t alarm the nurse, who she knew would be somewhere nearby. But she couldn’t help it, couldn’t explain it. She cried...for the baby she’d carried, for the baby who was now someone else’s, for the one she would probably never have, for the life she was now going to have to go back to, empty and lonely.

And when she had cried herself out, she shut off the shower, and the nurse silently helped her dry and get dressed, not commenting on Harper’s blotchy face. Instead she retrieved a tissue for Harper to blow her nose, and got her settled in a wheelchair to take her to a private postnatal room.

The baby was healthy and now it was time for Harper to reset—physically, mentally and emotionally. It was time for her to get back to her own life.

And yet somehow she got the feeling nothing was going to be quite the same.

She was home by three the next afternoon, sitting in the back of Dan’s car along with the car seat and a sleeping Isabelle inside. She reached out and touched her finger to the soft blanket keeping the baby warm, her little eyelids nearly translucent beneath the pink knitted cap. At home, Adele offered to help her inside, but Harper smiled and shook her head. “Go home with Dan and Isabelle,” she said softly. “I’m going to make some tea, grab a book and rest for a while.”

And so Adele and her little family left her just inside her doorway.

Life would return to normal now, she thought. Except it couldn’t, because too much had happened for it to look like it had only ten months earlier, before she’d started going to the doctor appointments, before the pregnancy test. She was different now; she could feel it deep inside, like somehow her DNA had changed.

She took exactly two days off work. On the third day she was back at the studio, working at her computer. Not pushing herself, but she needed to get back into a regular routine. She edited and put together packages for clients. Went back to earlier in the summer and pulled up wildlife photos and landscapes, scouring them for ones worthy of showing out front. She came in one day and discovered that her mama and babies grizzly print had sold, but Juny said it was an off-the-street purchase. The sales receipt showed a name and address from Calgary. She was sad to see it go.

She replaced it with the grizzly photo from Stewart Canyon, but in doing so, she went through the photos of the day and caught the ones of Drew and the bighorn sheep. She stared at them for long minutes, wondering what in the world was wrong with her. She was going through the motions. Nothing excited her. The photos of Drew made her sad. She worked each day and then went home and stared at the TV, or went to bed since she always seemed tired. It was like living life in black and white after being in bright, wonderful colour.

She lost her baby weight.

Aspen Outfitters announced a grand opening of the second week of February, right around Valentine’s Day, when Isabelle would be a month old. The store sign was installed and Opening Soon banners placed in the windows. Now Harper had a reminder of Drew whenever she walked down Banff Avenue to some of her favorite haunts. She couldn’t look at Cow’s Ice Cream the same, either.

When Drew left she’d had the pregnancy to keep her going. Now she felt as if she had nothing. Work wasn’t the same. She couldn’t get up any enthusiasm for their scheduled photo shoots. It seemed as if she was photographing the same things over and over. Home wasn’t the same, either. All she’d wanted as long as she could remember was a home of her own. Now she had it...and it wasn’t enough.

She’d always heard the saying be careful what you wish for. Now she knew what it meant. If the life she’d created for herself wasn’t the answer to her loneliness, what was?

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

DREW HUDDLED INSIDE his coat against the freezing rain that was falling. In just over a week the Banff location was going to open, and the hectic but brilliant finishing touches were under way before the grand opening. Another store would open in Whistler in the summer. He should be happy. Canadian expansion was happening, the business was growing, and he’d had a fantastic trip to Switzerland in September. Life was exactly as he wanted it.

Except he was unhappy, and angry at himself for it.

He jogged to his truck. By the time he got it unlocked and inside, his hair was wet with icy droplets.

He drove by Harper’s studio on his way back to the hotel. He’d missed her more than he cared to admit. Nothing had been the same since the summer. For God’s sake, he’d gone out on two dates and had found himself comparing the women—unfavorably—with Harper within ten minutes.

Being in Banff only made it worse. Dan was a new dad, proud as anything of his baby daughter, sleep-deprived and blissfully happy. Even looking at the baby reminded Drew of Harper. He remembered the awe on her face when he’d put his hand on her belly after hearing the heartbeat, or the way she’d fallen asleep on the porch swing, peaceful and so very beautiful.

He’d get over her eventually, and it would be easier. Right?

Except he couldn’t stop thinking about her. Last night Dan had taken him aside and mentioned how he and Adele were worried about her. “Adele and I think she’s feeling very alone right now. You mi

ght have broken her heart, Drew, and now she doesn’t have the pregnancy to keep her going. Adele lets her spend lots of time with the baby, and she seems happy, but...”

Drew turned down her street and parked a few houses away from hers. He rested his head on the steering wheel. The idea of actually breaking Harper’s heart caused him real physical pain. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, nothing had been right since he’d gone home at the first of August. He’d left a piece of himself back in Banff. He had fallen in love with Harper despite his best efforts not to.

And now he had to make a choice. Either keep his distance, or take the few steps to her door and see her once more.

He shut off the engine and let out a sigh. He remembered her saying she was worried about being attached to the baby, about getting too close. If nothing else, he could be a friend and make sure she was okay.

* * *

The knock on the door was unexpected. It was past six and neither Adele nor Dan had called to say they were coming over. With the new baby, surprise drop-ins didn’t happen as often as they used to.

Juny and Adele and Dan had all expressed concern over her, and she kept answering that she was just bouncing back and a little tired. It was much easier than coming out with the complicated truth—that she was dissatisfied with the life she’d thought she wanted.

Or that she’d let Drew in and got her heart broken. That was a big part of it, even if she wouldn’t admit it out loud to a single soul.