Sucker Punch (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter 27)

“When I got cut up on the job, I went to the hospital for stitches,” I said.

“I was there for one of those,” he said.

I smiled a little, though he probably couldn’t see it in the dark. “Yeah, you saw me get hurt. I remember. This job doesn’t just mess us up physically, Newman. It messes up our heads and our hearts. Some of this shit feels like it stains the soul. If you got a broken leg, you’d go to an orthopedist, right?”

“I guess so,” he said.

“So why don’t we look at a counselor or a therapist as just another specialist like an orthopedist or a dentist?”

“I don’t know. I mean, when you say it that way, it sounds so logical.”

“Maybe it is logical, and all the rest is just illogical, emotional bullshit.”

He laughed then, and it was almost shocking after the heavy topic.

“I didn’t think I was that funny,” I said.

“You aren’t funny. You’re honest, and you go straight at a topic like a shark or something.”

It was my turn to chuckle. “I’ve been described as a lot of things, but never a shark. I think they circle more than I do before taking a bite.”

He just laughed and then, with the sound of it still in his voice, asked, “How far can we trust Duke with him this emotionally invested?”

“He’s your friend, not mine, so shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

“Yeah, but I figured I’d save you the trouble. I called you in on this. If you had gotten shot in the cell like that”—he shook his head—“it would have been my fault.”

“No, Newman, it would not have been your fault. It would have been the fault of the person who shot me, and that wouldn’t have been you.”

“Duke has always been professional, kind of down-home and country like he’d read what a small-town sheriff should be like and wanted to play the part right, but always a good cop.”

“Even good cops get confused when their family is impacted by a crime,” I said.

“That’s a kind way of looking at someone that nearly shot you.”

“His daughter is dying. That’s going to mess with anyone.”

“You have this reputation for being a hard-ass, unpleasant person, but you’re not like that. You get the job done, and you don’t let bullshit stand in your way. And if someone is shoveling the bullshit, you’re pretty merciless. But if they do their job, if they aren’t part of the problem, you’re kind.”

“I’m as kind as people let me be,” I said.

“Exactly,” Newman said.

“Sheriff Leduc has used up my milk of human kindness for him. You understand that, right? I won’t be an asshole about his daughter and the deceased paying for her treatment, but I won’t let pity endanger me again.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to give him another pass, Blake. I honestly thought he was going to kill you both for a minute.”

“I know you would have shot him to save us, Newman.”

“I would have. I really would have, but damn, I would not have wanted to explain to his wife and daughter how it happened.”

“You didn’t have to shoot him, so there’s nothing to explain.”

“No, but you know how I worried that I was compromised because I knew everyone involved?”

“Yeah,” I said.

“I’m not, but Duke is compromised six ways to Sunday.”