Tarnished Gold (Landry 5)

and the owls complained to each other. After I went

up to my room, I sat by my window and listened to

the cicadas. I wondered if Paul was asleep or being

nursed. I imagined his little arms swinging, his

excitement coming with every new discovery about

his own body, and I turned to find a pen and some

paper to write the letter I would never send.

.

Dear Paul,

You will probably grow up never hearing my

name. If we do see each other, you will not look at me

any differently from the way you look at anyone else.

Perhaps, when you are old enough to realize, you

might see me looking at you with a soft smile on my

face and you, might wonder who I am and why I am

gazing at you this way. if you ask your parents about

me, they won't tell you anything. We will remain

strangers.

But maybe, just maybe, on a night as warm and

as lonely as this one is for me, you will feel a strange

longing and you will realize something is missing.

You may never tell anyone about this feeling, but it

will be there and it will come often.

And then, one day, when you're old enough to

put the feeling into a thought, you will remember the

young girl who looked at you with such love and you

will realize there was something more in her eyes. Maybe you will confront your father or your

mother and maybe, just maybe, they will be forced to

tell you the truth.

I wonder then if you will hate me for deserting