Dark Seed (DeBeers 0.50)

Amou waved at the air as if she were waving away annoying flies and came into my room. For a moment she just stood there, looking at everything, just the way someone would who wanted to commit it all to memory forever. It started a small alarm in my heart that confused me.

"What's wrong. Amou?" I asked.

She smiled and sat on my bed. I turned my chair around.

"My sister is a lonely woman now that both our parents are gone." she began. "and there is something in my heart that cries not only for her, but for my youth. It is time for me to go home, Amou Una."

"Go home?"

In my mind, this had always been Amou's home, How could she think of anywhere else as her home?

"Back to my roots, my people, my uncles and aunts and cousins. I have so many nieces and nephews. I can't remember all their names." she added.

"Oh," I said. It was like all my insides were crumbling.

"You must not be upset. Willow. You really are a grown woman now. You do not need someone like me trailing after you all the time. Soon, you will be serious with some young man. I'm sure, and you would forget me. anyway."

"I could never forget you. Amou. Don't say such a terrible thing!" I cried.

She laughed. "When a girl becomes a woman, she forgets a lot more than she ever thought she would, but that's not something bad. It is what should be. It's only natural. Do not be upset at yourself for that," she insisted,

"When are you going?"

"In a week, Dr. De Beers doesn't know exactly, but he has been anticipating it for some time. I'm sure," she said. "Of course, I will miss him very much. too."

I could feel the tears flawing over my lids and starting down my cheeks.

"I'll never see you again," I moaned.

"Of course you will see me again. I will come back often, and maybe someday, when you are able. you will travel to Brazil and I will be able to show you my beautiful county."

My throat closed. I turned away,

"I'll hate living here without you," I threatened, "I'll run away." I turned back to her.

"Maybe I'll run away to Brazil."

"The Doctor would be very upset, Willow. You don't want to hurt him so much, do you?"

"He's never here. He hardly sees me these days. I almost agree with my AM about it." I said, dabbing my eyes with a tissue, "He's married to the clinic. It's his whole life."

"No," she insisted. You are his whole life." "Oh, sure," I said.

"Maybe no one should be anyone's whole life." she added, for more thoughtful and philosophical than I had ever seen her. "It's good to be a little selfish. So You can survive." she added. "You look at me like you don't understand. but I'm sure, some day, you will," she said. smiling.

"Oh, Amou."

I rose and threw my arms around her. We held each other for a long moment. rocking just the way I used to when I was very little and afraid or had just been hurt. Then she let go of me and I let go of her.

She stood up. and I saw she had tears welling in her eves, too.

You have been my filha," she said, which was Portuguese for "'daughter."

"And you have been my mae," I told her. which was Portuguese for "mother."

How well those words fit the both of us.

I cried myself to sleep that night. The next day I could easily tell she had informed both my AM and the Doctor. My AM was even more nasty and sarcastic than ever, which I didn't think possible.