Wicked Forest (DeBeers 2)

"Times have changed. Margaret. That's not something on everyone's mind at the moment."

"I just didn't think I should give myself to any man unless he was going to be my husband and give himself completely to me." she declared with a bit of a pout.

"Your virginity is your most precious gift, your jewel, and you can't cheapen it by giving it to just anyone. And besides, later, when your husband makes love to you, he'll feel you're like a used car."

"Who told you that?" I asked, fighting not to break out in laughter.

-"Mother and I have discussed it many times,' she said with big eyes.

"I don't think all men feel that way. Margaret. This isn't some very restricted society in which women are treated like second-class citizens. If it's all right for men to be lovers, why shouldn't it be for women?"

"We're different.,"

"That's for sure. Margaret, but we're not less.

"Well..." She looked down and then up with an impish smile smeared like hot butter across her chubby face. "I almost did it with someone else once." she confessed in a loud whisper. "I came this close." She pinched her thumb and forefinger together. 'I was only sixteen and Randy Karlan had me pinned down in the backseat of his Lincoln Town Car, so there was lots of room, and he pulled down my panties and pushed his thing against me. He called it 'knocking on the door' and made me say. 'Who's there?' He said. 'Open.' and I had to say. 'Open who?' And he said. 'Open sesame.' and pushed until it almost happened. only I kept thinking about what Mother had told me and I screamed and turned so quickly and forcefully. I spilled him off me and he got very angry. He said he would tell everyone he had done it anyway. I cried, and he made a deal with me. I have never told anyone else about it."

"What was the deal?"

"I had to relieve his agony, he said. Men suffer so much more because of sex, don't they?" she asked me. and I shook my head and smiled,

"What do you mean? Why?"

"I don't know. They get like a bomb or something and if you don't help them explode, they could explode inside, I suppose.

Ashley told me that. He said men need more attention than women and need to pretend things more."

"Pretend? Like what?"

"On our honeymoon, he made me sit on him and bounce and recite. 'Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. Jack went over the candlestick' over and over until he screamed. And now that's the way we do it all the time. Sometimes I recite it twenty times, sometimes as high as fifty, and once less than ten times. Do you do things like that with Thatcher?"

"No, Margaret," I said. "And if I did. I wouldn't tell you."

'I just do what I have to do to make my husband a happy man so we can have a happy marriage."

'Do you have a happy marriage?' I asked, "Yes," she said quickly and firmly.

"Then that works for you, Margaret. and I'm happy for your happiness."

She nodded and rose, walking slowly toward the door.

All through the night before my wedding. I thought only about the honeymoon night. I was so afraid I wouldn't be good and Ashley would hate me." She paused and looked at me with the eyes of someone who was ready to confess a great sin. "I even practiced," she revealed.

"With 'Jack be nimble. Jack be quick'?"

"No, silly. I didn't know about that yet. I practiced with a pillow. To this day." she whispered. "when I go home, back to Mother. I mean, I look in my room at that pillow I call Ashley, and I get a little excited and go home and wait for Ashley and hope he wants to play 'Jack be nimble.' There. I've told someone, but you're almost a therapist so it isn't so terrible to tell you, and we're cousins anyway and should be like sisters, right?"

"Your secret is safe with me. Margaret."

"Good." She opened the door. "I feel a little sorry for you." ,,why?"

You won't have any surprises tomorrow night. You already know what it's like."

"That's not true. Margaret. It's never quite the same every time, and love is something you build upon. You don't get married. and then that's that. Marriage is really only the beginning."

She stared at me.

Then her lips began to tremble.