Wicked Forest (DeBeers 2)
"What?" I asked, following the line of his gaze.
It was still light enough to see clearly. All of the windows of Linden's studio and all of the windows of his suite had been painted black.
The sight of it made me gasp and step back, bringing my hands to my heart.
"I saw him go to the work shed and get the paint and brushes. so I asked him what he was doing and if he needed any help, but he doesn't speak to me much. Mrs. Eaton, nor does he speak to Mary and Joan, and that spooks them as it is. I mean, he just looks at them with those eyes and makes them feel like they are in his way or something. They have been mumbling about him for quite some time now. Mary is terrified of him. and Joan won't stay in the same room with him. She will actually turn and go in the opposite direction if she sees him approaching. At least, that's what they always tell me.
"Now this," he said, nodding at the windows again."I'm afraid you're going to lose both of them, Mrs, Eaton.
"Actually," he continued, looking down, "I know it's not the best time to tell you, but I've found a new position myself and will be taking it in a few weeks. I'm sorry.''
When he looked up, I saw his eyes were teary.
"With your mother gone and all, and you busy at school and having a baby soon. I know you are worried about costs. I'm sure a nanny could do most of what I do. Mrs. Eaton. You don't entertain anywhere near what the Eatons did when they lived here. It's a waste for you to have a man like me about the house."
"I understand. Jennings. It's all right," I said.
"I'm not the one to give you advice. Mrs. Eaton. but I couldn't leave without telling you to at least think about selling this and finding yourself a more suitable home for your brother and you and your child. These places..." He looked back at the building, "Well, these places aren't so much homes as they are stages, if you know what I mean."
"I do. Jennings. Thank you I am considering it."
"Very good, Mrs. Eaton, Did you want me to do anything about that?" he asked, nodding at the blackened windows.
"Not just yet, Jennings. No."
"Very good. Mrs. Eaton," he said. "Should I see about dinner?"
"Please do." I said, and he walked back into the house.
I stood there looking up at the windows, and then I followed Jennings. Linden was still behind a locked door in his studio. This time I knocked very hard, almost pounding it. I heard it being unlocked, but he didn't open it for mec. I did and stepped in. He was seated in a chair to the right, away from the windows. With them painted black and no light on, the only illumination was what spilled in through the opened door.
"What are you doing. Linden? Why are you sitting here in the darkness, and why did you paint all your windows black?" I asked him.
"It's better this way," he replied.
"Why is it better? How can it be better to shut the sunlight out of your rooms? Don't you like looking at the sea when you paint?"
"I don't want to see her out there anymore," he replied. "Every time I look out one of my windows, she's there."
"She can't be there, Linden." I said softly. "I know, but she is!"
Even in the darkened room, I could see the way his eyes bulged and his temples strained. The tension was palpable. If I pushed him, I thought, he might explode in a rage of some sort. Tomorrow, I told myself. at the cemetery, when they lower her into the grave, this will stop.
Nothing is as final as that.
"Get cleaned up and come down to dinner, Linden," I told him. "You will need strength for what's coming. Believe me. I know,"
He seemed to relax, "Okay," he said. "I will."
"Good,I'll be waiting for you," I said, and backed out of the room, closing the door.
My heart thumped like a sledgehammer, not fast, just heavy, rattling through my bones and giving me a shiver. I tried to calm myself.
"You're pregnant, -Willow De Beers," I whispered.
"Get control of yourself for the sake of the baby inside you." I sucked in my breath and went on.
Linden was very quiet at dinner. He ate mechanically, pausing occasionally to glance toward the door of the dining room as if he expected Mother would come walking in any moment, as if waiting to turn to me with a smile and say , "See, this was all just a nasty nightmare."