Twisted Roots (DeBeers 3)

"It's all right. Mr. Montgomery will be with us, and he's thinking of painting it," she said, her lips quivering.

"But... there's a fence around the lake now. Bess. Remember? Charles built that fence for us." She looked at Uncle Linden, "With a fence around it, it wouldn't be pretty enough to paint," she said.

'1 see. No, it might not" "Yes, it will," Bess insisted.

"There are so many other beautiful places on the farm. Bess. Why don't you show Mr. Montgomery the remaining orchard, for example?"

"It's not the same," she said sharply. "I want to show him the lake."

Mrs. Stanton avoided Bess's eyes and smiled at me. "Some apple butter, darling." she asked.

"Thank you," I said, taking the dish.

"Let me refresh the chicken salad," she said, rising and taking the bowl. She glanced back at me when she started far the kitchen.

"Let me help you. Grandma," I said and rase to follow.

When we stepped into the kitchen, she turned around quickly.

She doesn't go there anymore." she said. "It's not actually a lake. It's a big pond. and I did have Charles build a fence around it."

"Sometimes Bess imagines different things happening to Rosemary. She wakes up after another nightmare and then acts on it. One morning she rose early and went to the pond because she had a dream that Rosemary was drowning. Luckily Charles saw her trampling down the high grass in her rush to get there, and he followed. He saw her gaze at the pond and then scream and run into the water. She was swimming frantically and crying for Rosemary. He realized she was soon actually struggling to stay afloat herself. and he got to her before she drowned,

"After that he and I decided to build a fence around it. It's a chain-link fence. She can't get to the water. If she goes there and looks at it, perhaps she doesn't see the fence. Her mind might play tricks on her, but at least she can't drown,

"Once she was gone for hours and we found her walking miles from here. She had dreamed that Rosemary had gotten lost, and she had gone out to find her.

"Now, whenever she goes out, no matter what he's doing. Charles follows and watches her. Sometimes she walks and talks aloud as if Rosemary is alongside her, he says. Sometimes she just walks in circles, mumbling to herself. When he thinks he has to, he calls to her and gets her to come home."

She dabbed her eyes with a napkin.

"I've made up my mind that if something should happen to Charles or he left us for whatever reason. I would have to put her in some sort of place for her own protection, but until then. I do the best I can and pray nothing happens to her, that she doesn't do anything terrible to herself. Someday, maybe, she'll wake up and realize the truth and face it.

"We all have to wake up and face some unpleasant truth someday. All we can do is hope to be strong enough to carry it along with the other burdens life lays on us." She took a deep breath and then looked at me.

"But you're too young to worry about these things, darlin'," she said, smiling and touching my face. "Soon your vehicle will be repaired, and you can leave all this behind you. Thank you for doing what you've done, and please thank your daddy. too."

It was on the tip of my tongue to blurt that he was not my daddy. He was my uncle and we were all running away. I wanted to tell her the truth. I wanted to be honest with her so much. but I was so afraid that she would see it as another form of betrayal and deceit in a normally

dark world that for a few days at least had opened to some sunshine. How do you give someone such a gift and then take it away so quickly?

Uncle Linden's and Bess's laughter echoed from the dining room.

"Isn't that a wonderful sound?" she asked. "We haven't heard much of it for a long time."

"Yes." I said, practically in a whisper.

"I'd better get this replenished," Mrs. Stanton said, holding up the bowl. "Your cousin should be in there by now."

"What about Charles?"

"Oh, he won't eat much lunch. He likes to have a piece of fruit is all. All these years he's been with us, he still feels out of place eating in that formal dining room. I know and I don't force him to do it. He'll came in for birthdays and special occasions, but he's always been more comfortable where he's at. He knows I want him here whenever he wants to come. I guess we're all stuck in our ways. That's what being old does to you. darlin'. It hardens the grooves, tightens the doors, shuts the windows, and keeps you where life has taken von. Change is never easy, but when you reach our ages, it's nearly impossible. The only change left is the grave itself. And as von can see, I have more work to do before I retire.

"So," she said. "let me give you this little piece of wisdom: take your time making your big decisions, your turns and twists in life. Ponder those forks in the road because if you go too far, you never can go back, not really. No decision is too small. Live like everything you do will change the world, if not for you, far someone you love.

"That's it." she declared abruptly. "That's all the Grandma talk I'll be giving today. Enjoy. Tell your cousin I'm coming right out," she added.

"Thank you." I said and kissed her cheek. She beamed. "Bless you, child." she said.