Twisted Roots (DeBeers 3)

"She's a chambermaid at the Breakers." "I see," she said. "How old is Heyden's sister?" "Fourteen. I think."

"And Heyden?"

"Seventeen. I think."

"Well, his mother should have his father pursued far child support at minimum," she said.

"She can do that?"

"Of course she can."

"Will you tell me how so I can tell Heyden and he can tell his mother? They don't have much money," I added quickly, "and Heyden thinks he has to drop out of school to get more work."

Mommy sighed, "It's like an epidemic," she muttered to herself. "I'll tell you, Hannah, but you're getting yourself in too deeply with someone else's problems. These are not simple problems. They don't get solved over a weekend and then everyone forgets them. I'm sure Heyden's mother has her hands full with his sister. too. Was she close to her father? Is she heartbroken about the breakup?"

"I think she is, but she likes to appear tough and unaffected."

"Classic," Mommy said. 'Oh, sweetheart, you're too young to get yourself so involved in these sorts of matters. Can't you take a few steps back?"

"You wouldn't," I said with accusatory eyes.

"Yes. I would," she replied firmly. "Especially after la-Lowing what I know now, living what I lived through. What good is all that if I don't pass on my experience to you and you don't take heed, Hannah?

"You're too young yet, too vulnerable yourself," she insisted,

"I am not. Stop telling me I'm too young for everything. I'm nearly seventeen years old."

"I just don't want you to be hurt. Hannah. Please. I'll give you information to pass on to your friend, but promise me you won't get too involved."

I was silent.

"I'm going to need you now, especially with little Claude coming home soon. He's very fragile. We're going to have to pass through a difficult time. I'm going to depend on your support," she said.

I looked at her. For almost all of my life, my mother was a rod of steel in my home. She had learned from her troubled past, and she had become an impressive guide, leading other people through the dark corridors of their own fears and troubles successfully. That took strength and self-confidence. I depended on that, on her far more than I depended on anyone else. Maybe this was the reason I was so ambivalent about my new brother. I was afraid she would give him everything and there would be little or nothing left for me.

For the first time I heard a note of fear in her voice, saw a wobble in that rod of steel. Would she really need me as much as she was claiming?

''I made promises and I like Heyden. I can't just turn my back on him. Mommy."

"You don't have to do that. Hannah, but you do have to be careful and use good judgment. Most important, you have to realize you are limited and can do only so much. People get themselves in trouble when they take on more than they can handle. Don't make the mistake of thinking you can rescue him, his mother, and his sister completely? Okay?" she asked.

I nodded.

But why did I feel even this concession was my abandoning Leyden just when I had filled his heart with so much promise and hope?

"Good," she said and leaned over to kiss me. "Are you still going out for dinner?"

"No."

"Then see to it Miguel eats, will you? He's been hovering about me like a worrywart ever since I came home from the hospital."

"Okay," I promised. She smiled again and stroked my hair. "Your birthday is a month and a half away." she said. "We'll have to do something very special. Seventeen. It all seems to have one by so quickly. Don't be in a mad rush to grow up." she advised, "After you do, you spend lots of time wondering why you were in such a hurry."

She rose slowly, acting as though it took some effort to stand and shuffle her way out of my room.

"Are you all right. Mommy?"

"Yes," she said. smiling. "Just tired. It's to be expected. I'll be fine. We'll all be fine." she said.