Star (Wildflowers 2)

"I ended up in a hospital, too. Suddenly, I blinked and found myself looking up at a strange doctor who smiled at me and told me to try to stay calm. I went in and out of sleep. Granny told me I was there nearly two days before I was alert enough to know where I was and who she was.

"Naturally, I was very frightened. Later, I found out about all the trouble I had caused, especially the car accidents. Someone had gotten hurt. Granny was so upset, I was afraid she would have another heart attack, but I felt so weak and tired, I just slept a lot.

"They put me in psychological therapy in the hospital and then I was released and Granny had to bring me to court where a judge put me on some kind of probation connected with seeing Doctor Marlowe.

"That's how I got here. Remember, we were kind of answering that question?"

The others all nodded simultaneously as if their heads were somehow connected by wires.

I sat back.

"Just recently, I found out where Steve is buried, but I haven't been able to go to the grave. Granny isn't too happy about the idea. She's afraid it might cause me to do something stupid like step out on a busy highway again. Doctor Marlowe is supposed to help me deal with all that, right, Doctor Marlowe?" I asked, not hiding my fury.

"I'll try my best, but you have to be the one who ultimately helps yourself, Star. You all have to make that commitment, to want to do it," she said.

"That's convenient," Jade said. "If we get cured, you're a hero. If we don't, it's our fault for not caring enough about ourselves."

"Would you rather I pretended to have all the answers and some miracle in my back pocket?" Doctor Marlowe asked her. Jade just stared. "I would have thought all of you were tired of hearing false promises:'

"What am I supposed to do, forget what happened?" I fired back.

'We all thought Jade was saying something stupid at lunch when she wished we all had

Alzheimer's disease like your mother,' Misty said. "Maybe that wasn't so stupid. Maybe all this is stupid."

"I hate my memories," Cat suddenly added. "I don't want you to make me remember them," she said to Doctor Marlowe with more anger and aggression than any of us had seen in her so far.

For a moment I felt like we were all ganging up on Doctor Marlowe. If she felt it, she didn't mind it. She looked like she almost welcomed it.

"You're all going to do this," she said slowly, "look for people to resent, targets for your anger. Your anger's justifiable, understandable, but if you let it run your lives, it will ruin them What I want is for all of you to first admit to your anger, deal with what's caused it, and then use it, make it work for you. In short, free you from it."

"Right:' Jade said and looked away.

"Did you want to tell us any more today, Star?" Doctor Marlowe asked.

"I don't think so:' I said.

"What about your mother?" Misty asked, suddenly remembering her.

"Oh yes, Momma. She called while I was in therapy at the hospital. She was in North Carolina and now she was with Aaron's cousin instead of Aaron. Granny told her what had happened and she was disgusted and told Granny that she couldn't handle a problem like me just yet. She had intended to send for me and Rodney, if you can believe that, but once she heard about the trouble, she thought it would be better if we stayed where we were until she was better established.

"What were you saying about promises, Doctor Marlowe?"

"Exactly, Star. You know which to take seriously and which not to at least," she said.

"That's not hard, Doctor Marlowe. Any promises my Momma makes I throw in the garbage. Anybody else, I just don't believe."

Misty laughed.

Cat nodded and Jade looked up at the ceiling, took a deep breath and announced she was sufficiently depressed for the day.

"I hope you'll get more from this than that," Doctor Marlowe said.

Jade looked at me.

"I did," she admitted. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to belittle your story."

"I'm not worr