Jade (Wildflowers 3)

" 'You make it sound like a final exam or something,' I said.

"'Oh, it is,' he said. 'It's just like a final exam and much more important.'

"He, too, talked about the other witnesses who would be called and he asked me questions about them.

"I ate fast, more out of nervousness than from hunger. Afterward, I didn't throw up like I had at my mother's attorney's office, but my food felt like it had all gotten stuck in my throat. I wished I hadn't eaten anything. It actually hurt when I tried to swallow.

"When we started out of the restaurant, I looked lon

gingly at the beach and my father stopped and looked too.

"'Do you want to take a walk on the beach?' he offered.

"Here he was dressed in a jacket and tie and wearing his expensive Bally shoes. How could we walk on the beach? I wondered.

"'Yes,' I said and he led me onto the boardwalk.

"'I'm really sorry about all this,' he began. 'Believe me when I tell you it was the furthest thing from my imagination.'

" `The divorce or the custody battle?' I asked.

"'Both,' he replied, 'but I have to admit, your mother surprised me with her decision to go to court about this. I never anticipated which one of us had primary custody was so important to her. I know the house is important, but her freedom to do what she wants to do is clearly what matters the most. At least, that's what I had assumed. Of course, there are other things involved here, more complicated things.'

"I knew what he was saying, but I didn't respond. The hardest thing about all this is to have to deal with each of them when they try to get me to take sides. Why couldn't we just walk on the beach and talk about other things? What about what Mr. Klugman had brought up at lunch: my college future? Neither of my parents had come right out and asked me what I wanted to do with my life. They were both too caught up in what they were doing with their own lives.

"'I'm not going to lose the house,' he continued. 'My soul is in that house. I created it. It was born right here,' he said pointing to his temple. 'I can claim it as intellectual, artistic property, you know. Arnold is investigating that argument.'

"Here they both were vowing to me that neither would lose the house as if the house was more important than me.

"'Don't worry,' he assured me. 'Your mother will have something quite upscale as an alternative. She knows that. She's just fighting that battle for spite. You know how much she hates anything that has to do with the house. Can you just imagine her being responsible for maintaining it?'

"He laughed. I kept my eyes down and walked with my arms crossed under my breasts. The ocean breeze felt so cool and refreshing. As we drew closer, I stopped and took off my shoes to walk in the sand. He hesitated, laughed and took off his shoes and socks. He rolled up his pants and joined me as we walked toward the water.

"'This is fun. I haven't done this in years,' he said.

"'Maybe that's why there are all these problems,' I muttered.

"'Oh, is that what she's telling you these days?' he asked, pouncing.

"Jade, I told myself, just keep your mouth shut. They're both like dynamite sticks with short wicks. Practically every word I said could be a potential spark.

"'No,' I said. 'You two used to have so much fun together. I just thought that was important.'

"'It is!' he cried. 'But that old adage is true. It takes two to tango. I could make a list as long as my arm of places, events, things I wanted to do for pure enjoyment that she no longer had the time to do or cared to do,' he explained, which was exactly her complaint about him.

"'It's all right; it's all right,' he quickly added. 'If that's who she is, if that's who she wants to be, fine. I wish her well, but I need to have a more relaxed relationship. I'm a creative person. I need to avoid stress,' he insisted.

"I stood on the beach and let the tide kiss my toes. He did the same, but rambled on about how things had changed and why he didn't want this to happen and why he hoped she would become reasonable.

"After a while the sound of the sea drowned him out and I closed my eyes and imagined myself on a sailboat, gliding along in the wind, the spray on my face.

"'We should head back,' I heard him say. 'Jade?'

"'What? Oh. Yes,' I said and followed him up the beach to a faucet where we could rinse the sand off our feet. He gave me his handkerchief to use as a towel.

"As I wiped my feet, I sensed him standing off to the side gazing at me, and when I looked at him, I saw this boyish grin on his face. I raised my eyebrows.

"'What?' I asked with a smile of my own.