"I guess," I said, wiping my cheeks.
"Your mother will be fine," she said. "Give her a chance. She won't forget who you are and who she is to you, I'm sure."
I nodded and smiled. "Thanks."
"I can't have my star being sad unless it's part of the dance." she declared, and I laughed. "Ready?"
"Yes."
I was back at it and much better. During the months that followed. I continued to practice at home for Evan and, occasionally, when Barry arrived early on the weekends. I danced for him as well. They were a great audience, boosting my confidence with their clapping and howling.
Evan went out with us more often, sometimes just for a ride, sometimes to eat and go to a movie. We took him shopping at the mall as well, where he and Barry pondered over new computer software products. Often, I would be sitting outside the store, waiting for them. Beside me on the benches were husbands who had brought their wives and were patiently waiting as well. It made me laugh to see the expressions on their faces when they realized I was the one waiting for my boyfriend and my half-brother to shop until they dropped and not the other way around.
The spring variety show was coming upon us fast, and with every passing day, even- new morning that I woke and realized how close we were, my heart increased the speed of its beat. It got so I was almost frozen in my bed, afraid to start my day at school. I saw my name up on the posters in the hallways, heard my teachers talking among themselves. They were all telling me how much they were looking forward to my performance. Miss Anderson wasn't sparing any adjectives describing me, it seemed. I begged her not to blow me up so high in everyone's eyes,
"I'll never meet their expectations," I cried.
"They'd have to be total clods," she replied. "Stop worrying. You can't help being who and what you are. Rose. I can feel it." she declared with such drama. I was mesmerized. "Stopping it would be like trying to hold back the sun."
Her words took my breath away and filled me with exaltation. Soon I was eating, breathing, sleeping dance. I would wake up in the morning exhausted and imagined that I had gotten up and dance- walked instead of sleepwalked.
I don't know how many times I reminded Mammy about the upcoming performance, but I was terrified she wouldn't show up because she would have some social obligation or another. She was still seeing Grover Fleming. Every time she mentioned his name to me. I held my breath, anticipating her telling me he had proposed or something, but that didn't come, and I began to wonder if Miss Anderson wasn't right, after all. Mammy was just trying to find herself again and wasn't making any new lifelong
commitments.
Finally, the Saturday of the variety show arrived. Barry and I had convinced Evan to go shopping for a new suit. Barry said he would come early in the morning to take him. I pleaded with Evan to do it, claiming it would help me keep my mind off my performance and help me to be less nervous. He had access to credit cards and funds. He was nervous about it, but he truly enjoyed the day with us. Barry helped him try on the clothes and I sat and passed judgment on how he looked. He was so shy and embarrassed, his face was like a red rose most of the time, but in the end. I could see the pleasure in his eyes when he held his packages in his lap. He even agreed to have his hair styled and shortened.
"My two escorts," I declared when we returned to the house that day.
"Your two big fans, you mean." Barry cried.
The three of us laughed. We carried our merriment with us into the house, all three of us ravenously hungry from excitement more than anything, I suppose. However, the moment we entered the house, I could sense that something was different. For one thing, when Nancy Sue saw me, she shifted her eyes away quickly. Even Ames gazed at me longer and then moved along as if he was
uncomfortable in my presence.
"You two go ahead," I said to Barry and Evan. "I'll join you in a minute. I want to talk to my mother," I said and hurried up the stairs to her bedroom. The car was still in the garage and Ames was here. so I knew she hadn't left for any social affair with Charlotte. She better not be planning to do so, I thought.
The door was closed. I knocked, waited, knocked and called to her.
Charlotte stepped out of her bedroom. She was wearing one of her Armani tuxedo suits.
"Oh. Rose honey, you were gone so long.' she said with her usual syrupy sweetness. 'Monica waited and waited as long as she could."
"What? What do you mean, waited? Waited why?"
"To say good-bye, of course," she declared with a wide, gleeful smile.
"Good-bye?" I shook my head. "No. Tonight's the variety show. She didn't go off to one of her social events tonight. No," I insisted and opened the door to find Mammy and prove Charlotte wrong.
Not only wasn't she there. but there was a new sense of emptiness to the room itself. I saw one of the closet doors was nearly half open, revealing naked hangers. The top of her vanity table was cleared. Gone was all her makeup.
I spun around. Charlotte stood in the doorway, gloating. "Where is she?"
"A wonderful thing has happened," Charlotte said. "Grover has asked her to be with him. They've gone off together."
'Be with him? I don't understand. What does that mean? Marry him?"
"Well, marriage wasn't specifically mentioned," she said. She scrunched her nose. "'People today often just run off and live together. It's less intimidating." She pealed off a laugh and turned.