Dirty Talk (Get Dirty 1)

“Yeah, yeah,” I snort. “You’re a horrible Jiminy Cricket. No offense, but your conscience is not much better than mine, and you’re a hell of a lot hotter.”

“Why thank you, I do say I’m a lot more fuckable than an insect,” Elise retorts. “Listen, I gotta ask up front after your Kevin bombshell, or lack of bombshelling, I should say. Does Derrick knock your socks off?”

I giggle, feeling warmth between my thighs as I think of Derrick last night. “My socks, my panties, my bra . . . he’s the best ever. If he were a computer program, he’d be the Big Oh-S-E-X.”

“Apple’s so going to love that you’re making fun of their operating system,” Elise snickers. “Nerd dirty talk, gotta love it. So what’s his style, pound you into submissive bliss or do you like to take charge?”

“That’s the thing,” I admit, my heart beating a little faster, “he’s so good at listening, reading my body language. Like last night, I started off saying I wanted to be all prim and proper, no sex on the second date. But he read me so well and pushed his flirting to delicious naughtiness. My god Elise, I was so ready to go to a dark corner and get it on in public. Me! In public! Can you imagine? But this morning, after we woke up, he totally saw that I wasn’t really feeling it for sex, and we just talked as I showered. We even broke the toilet barrier.”

“You’re fucking shitting me,” Elise says wonderingly. She’s the one who introduced me to the various barriers, with the toilet barrier, or feeling comfortable enough to use the toilet in front of the other person, being one of the greatest. “You aren’t maybe falling for him, you’re head over heels for this guy. Is there any limits you won’t cross with him?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like if that man asks me anything I’d do it,” I admit. “God, I can’t believe it. I am so head over heels for this man. Okay, pause button pressed or I’m gonna get too worked up and have to call him back for a repeat performance.” I shake my head a bit, rattling the sexy thoughts of Derrick out and hear Elise laughing at me across the line. “What about you? Tell me about your day. Any better news about your boss? Are you still dating that same guy? The chef.”

“Trevor?” Elise asks, snorting. “Nah, he was a tumbling, bumbling dickweed. Today’s mostly sucked because I’m chasing some stupid celeb rumors. Fuck, why couldn’t I have been on the Prince Harry and Meghan Markle beat?”

“Because you’re barred from the UK after that little incident five years ago?” I tease, making Elise give me a long, loud raspberry in my ear.

“I wasn’t banned from the whole country, just the Defence Ministry,” Elise says. “And besides, the reporter’s not going to England, it’s all stateside reporting. I didn’t get the assignment though because I’m not willing to fuck my way into plum assignments, unlike some people in my office,” she says with a snotty tone. “Really though, I’m cool. Standard stuff, nothing too exciting right now . . . usual celeb sightings, gossip mongering, and ass-kissing and covering to prevent lawsuits. Hey, what do you think of money shots?”

“Money shots?” I ask.

“Oh, come on, Kat. You know what a money shot is. When a guy blows his load all over–”

“I know what a money shot is. That was just so random I figured you meant something else.”

Elise laughs. “Sorry, I’m chasing a rumor that there’s a TV star whose specialty is getting money shots with some pretty A-list celebs. Can’t name names yet, you know how that shit is, but what do you think?”

“I guess it depends on the couple? I mean, if they’re both into it, who am I to say no?”

“Yup, you’ve been Love Whispered,” Elise jokes. “So sweet, yet sexy, and no smut to you at all.”

“You mean, too high class,” I tease. “Like you, babe. Elise, you’re a legit journalist, I’ve read your real work. Why are you chasing down who blows a load in who’s face?”

“Pays the bills for now, you know that. Just like your work on that never-to-be mentioned again adult dating sim. Not saying I always like it, but it does pay well.”

“Yeah but . . .,” I reply, then sigh, not wanting to make her feel bad about her job, even if she really is too good for the drivel she reports on. “Okay, I get it. So, now that Trevor’s out of the way, anything interesting for you?”

“Not really, but I am hitting a club tonight with a few coworkers. It’s mostly a work outing though, I won’t be there looking to get my freak on,” Elise admits. “Wanna join us? I got a new skirt that would make your ass look like a million bucks.”