Gates of Paradise (Casteel 4)

"Jillian was like a child, Annie. She couldn't conceive of her own death; she couldn't even face getting old. That problem just didn't exist for her.

"During the earlier times, she would drive me away by saying Troy should be the one to have heirs. After he died . . well, it was too late for Jillian by then."

"But what does this have to do with why my mother refused to have anything more to do with you?"

"This is all by way of preface, Annie, so that you will understand my motives for what I did. By that time Troy was gone; Jillian was . . . well, Jillian was so lost in herself, she was well on her way to the world of insanity she was to inhabit until the day she died.

"When Heaven first came along, you can't imagine how my heart cheered when I set eyes on her, JiIlian's granddaughter. Troy was already in deep depression by then, living alone, convinced he was to die soon. Jillian was wrapped up in herself, in her beauty regimen.

"Heaven was bright and alive and eager to learn and to become someone. As you know, I enrolled her in an expensive private school, lavished her with expensive clothing, made sure she had everything she could ever want. When she wanted to go back to Winnerrow and try to bring her Casteel family back together again, I financed her." He leaned toward me and lowered his voice as if he didn't want any of his ancestors to hear. "I would even have permitted her to bring the whole clan hack here, as long as she would remain and become my heir.

"You can't imagine how it broke my heart when she decided to go back to Winnerrow to become a schoolteacher. I couldn't believe she had given all this up for a teaching position in a small town, where the people didn't even appreciate her, where they still looked down on her and called her a `scumbag Casteel.'"

"It. was her lifelong dream to be there for the children just the way her teacher had been there for her," I said. "I remember how proud she was of what she had been able to do as a teacher."

"Yes, yes, I know. And I was wrong to belittle that. I realized it too late.

"Anyway, after I learned she was going to marry your father, I panicked. This would surely keep her away from Farthinggale forever, I thought. She would marry and set up a modest little home in Winnerrow, and . ." He swallowed. "And she would make up with her father Luke Casteel and be rooted solidly in that world again.

"Can you understand how I felt?" he pleaded. "It was all going to end with me . Tatterton Toys, Farthy, all of it. What had it been for? Nights I would walk through these dark halls feeling the angry eyes of my ancestors on me looking down from the portraits. I began to despise the echo of my own footsteps, to hate the face that gazed back at me from the mirrors, to wish I had never been born a Tatterton.

"And then, one day, I thought, why can't there be a way to bring Heaven and her world to Farthy?

"When I learned of Heaven's engagement to Logan, I contacted him and we discussed his future. I saw that he was a bright and perceptive man, ambitious and eager. I offered him an important position with my company and I requested that he and Heaven permit me to make them a wedding reception here."

"I know. I've seen the pictures. It must have been wonderful."

"There hasn't been a party like it since. It was that day, just before that party, that I presented Logan and Heaven with the idea of joining my company and building the factory in Winnerrow. Your mother consented, and then I showed them this suite." He stopped and stared at the memory of victory. "And she was overwhelmed. I had won her back. I had used all my resources, used all I was, and all I had, to do so."

"But Tony, why did she hate you?"

He looked down and turned his hands about in his lap as though inspecting them for scars.

"She hated me for the one additional thing I had done to secure my plan." He looked up.

"What was it, Tony?" My voice was soft and breathless.

"I was afraid of the relationship she would develop with Luke Casteel. I knew how much she loved him and wanted him to love her. After all their years apart, she was going to forgive him for selling her and her brothers and sisters; she was inviting him and his new wife Stacie to her wedding in Winnerrow. And I knew that Luke would go. I was positive that once she had made up with him, she would have no need of me--not my money, not the factory, nothing would make any difference. I felt I had to stop it."

"What did you do?" I asked, with anticipation.

"I knew from my discussions with Heaven that Luke had always dreamt of owning his own circus. At the time he worked for a man named Windenbarron. I bought the circus from Windenbarron and offered it to Luke for one dollar."

"One dollar!"

"One dollar and one stipulation . . . he was not to go to the wedding and he was not to have any contact with Heaven. If he did, he would lose the circus."

I stared at him; even though I was unable to speak, I couldn't help the flood of thoughts that rushed through my mind. One dollar! Tony had been like the Devil buying a man's soul, tempting him with all that he wanted and dreamt of having, but making him surrender the things that should have been most precious to him. I felt sick, disgusted, as weak as I would had I just learned my own father traded me for a circus, and only for a dollar!

The silence between us seemed eternal. How wished I could get up and run from that room, run from these terrible revelations. What kind of a man was Luke Casteel? Luke Jr. surely hadn't inherited these traits, I prayed. Not the Luke Jr. knew and loved.

"Luke agreed?" I finally asked, knowing the answer full well.

"Yes, and lived up to his agreement until the day he and his wife were killed. It was only then . . . Heaven found out what I had done. I tried to explain it to her, just as I am explaining it to you. I begged her to forgive me, but she was so enraged she left Farthinggale immediately and never returned."

He lowered his head.

"She left me a broken, guilt-ridden man, wandering alone in this enormous house to ponder my selfish acts. After what I thought was a sufficient time for the wounds to heal, I tried