Gates of Paradise (Casteel 4)

It was a light blue cotton dress with ruffled sleeves, a wide, embroidered collar, and an anklelength hem. I thought it was quite inappropriate. It was more like a dress to wear to an afternoon tea party than a dress to wear while confined to a room.

"I can pick out my own clothing, Tony. Don't worry," I said. I was sure I didn't need as much help as usual this morning. To prove it I sat up and carefully brought my legs out from under the blanket, dangling them over the edge.

"What are you doing?" he cried excitedly.

"Getting up. See, I can do this myself now!"

"Didn't you listen to anything the doctor said last night? Wait for me," he commanded. "If you try to stand and you fall, you could break a bone. Do you want to be laid up with a cast for six weeks on top of everything else?"

His words filled me with terror.

"All right, Tony. I'm waiting."

He put the dress down on the foot of the bed and came around to me with the wheelchair. I lowered myself until my feet reached the floor, but when I went to put real pressure on my legs, he seized me under my arms and lowered me into the chair.

"I think I could have done that myself, Tony."

"I can't take any chances with you, Annie. The doctor would blame it on me if something happened to set you bat."

"It seems to me I should be strengthening myself, working on building myself up."

"In time," he instructed. "In time. won't rush things," he warned. "Now, about this dress--"

"I'll pick something out myself, Tony, after I wash up."

"I'll help you," he said, taking hold of the wheelchair and turning it toward the bathroom before I could move it myself.

"But Tony--"

"Remember what the doctor said about buts," he said. He turned the chair toward the bathtub and brought me face-to-face with it. Then he started running the water.

"Tony, I can't let you do all this," I protested. "Nonsense. I feel terribly responsible for what happened with Mrs. Broadfield. I hired her. The least I could do until she is replaced is provide the service you need and deserve. Just think of me as a male nurse," he added cheerfully. "How about some bubble bath?" He shook some pink powder into the water, then went out to get a washcloth and some towels.

"Tony," I said as softly as I could when he returned, "I'm a grown woman now. I need my privacy."

"You mustn't worry about those things now," he said. "And anyway, this is all as the doctor instructed."

I didn't know how to reply. He turned off the water in the tub and smiled down at me.

"Time to go in," he said. I looked at the water and up at him. His gray hair was brushed back neatly and his eyes were soft, loving. "Once you're in, I'll let you wash yourself," he offered. "I just want to be sure you don't slip and bang yourself against the tub."

With great reluctance, I lifted my nightgown over my body. He took it from me and brought his hands under my arms. Inevitably, his fingers touched the sides of my naked breasts. I gasped. No one but my parents and doctors and nurses had ever seen me naked before, much less touched me. But Tony didn't seem to notice what he had done: He brought his arm under my legs and lifted me into the water, lowering me slowly, until bubbles hid my nudity. I felt terribly helpless, more like an infant than an invalid.

"There," he said. "See how easy it was? Here," he added, offering me the washcloth. "I'll just go out and straighten up the bed while you bathe."

About ten minutes later he returned.

"How are you doing?"

"Fine."

"Want me to scrub your back? I'm an expert at that. I used to do it for your grandmother and your mother."

"Really?" I couldn't imagine Mommy

permitting him to do so.

"Absolute expert," he said and took the cloth from my hands, positioning himself on the rear of the tub. leaned forward as he brought the cloth to my neck. "You have the same smooth, graceful neck, Annie," he said, moving the cloth down to my shoulders gently. "And the same dainty, feminine shoulders, shoulders that can tease and torment the strongest men,"