Dirty Laundry (Get Dirty 2)

I can’t sue him. He’s right that it wouldn’t do any good because it would be too slow-moving to stop him, and he is telling the truth.

I can’t go beat his ass into a pulp. That’d get the cops involved and only get Donnie what he wants, a fat payout in the form of a civil suit.

I even had a dark few minutes late last night, well, early this morning, where I thought about hiring a hitman and taking Donnie out. Problem solved. But that’s not who I am, nor is it the legacy I want to leave to my daughter. And as much as it sounds like a solution, I know it’s just one for a TV show ending where the good guy gets away scot-free every time. Reality is a lot different, and as the hours go on, I’m still trying to figure out my way past the harshness of that reality.

I’m still stumped, slamming my fourth coffee at eleven in the morning when Sarah and Carsen come blowing in, all girly giggles and excitement. “Daddy, oh, God, I had the best time! You wanna hear about it?”

My head is pounding and I’m worried as shit, but I can see the swoony hearts in her eyes like some old-school cartoon.

Still, it’s hard to find the will to be happy for her. All I can think about is that my baby’s first dance was probably going to be her last because by the next one, she’ll need security guards and won’t know whether to trust people’s friendship because of who she is or because of who I am.

It makes my blood boil, and I realize it’s carrying over as Carsen and Sarah have stopped giggling, looking at me worriedly.

“Daddy?” Carsen asks, her smile disappearing and breaking my heart. “What’s wrong?”

I thought about telling Sarah during one of my more desperate moments of trying to sort this all out, but I held off, hoping I’d be able to find a solution before scaring her with all of this. But she can see things aren’t right. “What happened?”

I try to school my face into a calm mask and shake my head. “Nothing, everything’s fine. Hey, Carsen, can you go hang out upstairs for a few minutes? I need to talk to Aunt Sarah about something, and then you can tell me all about the dance, okay?”

She nods, but I can see that she’s not fooled by my forced calmness. “Sure, Dad. Holler when you’re done and I’ll tell you about it.”

“I can’t wait, baby,” I reply, giving her a hug as she passes me to head upstairs. It hurts, because I know even as she hugs me that her world’s about to shatter, and that like Humpty Dumpty, it can’t be put back together again.

“So tell me what’s going on,” Sarah says, going over to the cabinet next to the plates where she gets out the Tylenol she keeps there. “And take these. I can see you wincing every time the sunlight sparkles in the window, and you kept wincing every time Carsen laughed. Guess you didn’t sleep?”

I shake my head slowly, taking three Tylenol along with a glass of water, which somehow tastes a lot better than it should. “That fucking bastard is trying to blackmail me.”

“What?” Sarah asks, shocked but trying to keep her voice down. “Back up, start slow, and omit nothing.”

I actually don’t tell her everything, just giving her the basics because I just don’t have it in me right now. “And in the end, that jellybean loving motherfucker said if I don’t pay up by five tomorrow, he’s going to publish.”

Sarah nods, biting her lip as she thinks. “And Elise? What does she say about this?”

Fuck. I thought my headache was doing better after telling the story, but Sarah’s reminder brings back the pain around my temples. “Well, I was so fucking furious that I might’ve said some things . . .”

“Keith, you stupid son of a bitch,” Sarah says softly, reprovingly. She sighs, waving her hand. “What did you do?”

“I might’ve blamed her for starting this whole mess with her first article and told her that if I’d just done the damn articles and kept her at arm’s length, I wouldn’t be in this mess now . . . and that I knew better than to date her,” I reply. “It hurt her, and I dropped her off at her place. I haven’t heard from her since then.”

“This isn’t her fault and you know it!” Sarah says, still trying to keep her voice down but managing to yell at me all the same. “From what you just said, she’s been putting her own career at risk to keep this secret. She’s done everything she can. It’s not her fault a coworker got suspicious when she saw us at the mall.”