Secret Brother

“Since when don’t you tell me what you’re doing and with whom you’re doing it?”

“You were too busy,” I said. “It was only Aaron Podwell, anyway. Jack the Ripper had other things to do today.”

I hated talking to him like this, but it seemed to come out of a well inside me that I didn’t know existed, a well filled with ugly, deformed creatures of rage, their faces bloodred. They danced in glee around my heart, which felt like it was on fire. The heat propelled me forward.

When I walked past Willie’s room, I saw Mrs. Camden helping the boy out of his other wheelchair and back into bed. He looked at me over her shoulder. He did seem fragile and helpless, his eyes pleading for some sympathy, but I looked away quickly and went to my room. I had put on a good front before my grandfather, but inside myself, I could feel a small earthquake. For a while, I just lay there staring up at the ceiling and trying to calm myself. I was glad when the phone rang. I knew Lila wanted a report about my ride home with Aaron, but for now, I welcomed the distraction. Besides, I was finding I liked talking about him.

“Did he take you anywhere else first?” she asked as soon as she heard my voice.

“No, but he did take a longer route so I could appreciate his car.”

“Did he park for a while?”

“We didn’t start groping each other, if that’s what you mean.”

“But did you want to?” She giggled after asking. She was going to live her own fantasy through me, I thought. Suddenly, I felt very mean about it. I was eager to tease her.

“Oh, yes,” I said breathlessly. “I was getting hot and wet just thinking about his hands slipping under my blouse, his fingers undoing my bra. I wanted his lips all over me. You know, his face between my thighs.”

I heard her gasp. “You did?”

“Almost,” I added, dropping back to my usual tone. “But then I started thinking about My Faith’s cookies.”

“What?” Her disappointment brought a smile back to my face.

“But everyone was too busy with the preparations for the new William’s therapy to suggest that I have any. My grandfather is setting up the room for all the equipment.”

“Equipment?”

“The therapy equipment. Now we have a nurse and a therapist and a psychiatrist and doctors parading through the halls.”

“Oh,” she said.

“Anyway, Aaron now knows all about it, so you don’t have to keep your lips zipped. Maybe if more people ask my grandfather about it, he’ll realize what he’s doing.”

“I already told my parents,” she confessed.

“Good. And what about Gerry? Did he try to park with you?”

“Oh, no.”

“Did you want him to?”

“No!” she exclaimed. “Ugh, Gerry? Please.”

“Then why did you let him take you home? Never mind. I know why. I’ll call you later,” I said.

“You’d better. You did really well on that math. I’ll need your help.”

After I hung up, I freshened up in the bathroom and then went downstairs. I really had a craving for one of My Faith’s cookies. As it turned out, she had made them, but more for the new William than for me.

I paused to watch the men setting up the equipment in my grandfather’s den. He had left for the office to finish some things. Mrs. Camden surprised me. I was thinking so hard that I didn’t hear her approach.

“Would you like to know about all this?” she asked, nodding at the equipment.

“Not really.”

“He was asking some more about you,” she said.