Heartsong (Logan 2)

"He had to have it tonight?"

She stared at me.

"That's why you're crying, isn't it? He was upset so you got upset? And Cary had to run out as soon as he got back from work, right?" I asked, the whole scenario flashing before my eyes.

"It's nothing. I should have remembered." She sighed. "I usually do."

"I bet he's not even supposed to be drinking it," I exclaimed. "And after all you've been doing for him, for him to make a scene and--"

"It's all right, dear. Cary will be back soon. I have the meat loaf on low and--"

"That's not the point, Aunt Sara. If he drives you until you get sick, too, where will everyone be?"

"I'll be fine," she insisted. "I wanted to have an earlier dinner tonight, though. Olivia and Samuel were here today. We had a nice lunch and their visit cheered Jacob, but before they left, Olivia told me to tell you she would be sending Raymond for you about seven."

"What?"

"She said she wanted to see you and--"

"Well, maybe I don't want to see her," I snapped. Aunt Sara's face filled with shock. She shook her head as if to deny the words.

"Not want to see her?"

"Who is she, the queen? Demanding this and that? I'm tired and I was looking forward to relaxing tonight. I have a lot to think about," I added, but Aunt Sara heard nothing. Her huge scared eyes stared woefully back at me. "Oh, just forget it, Aunt Sara. Forget I said anything. I'm going up to wash off this marble dust and then I'll come down and help you with supper or anything else you need."

I turned and left her, a sailboat drifting in a windless sea. She was kind and loving, willing always to sacrifice her own happiness and comfort for someone else, especially for Uncle Jacob. Yet she was the saddest and most tragic person I knew right now. I wished I'd had Holly there. I'd ask her what went wrong with Aunt Sara's stars? Where were the sun and the moon when Aunt Sara was born?

May was waiting for me in my room. She was sitting on the floor, her knees up, drawing on her pad, her back against the frame of the bed. She saw my feet and looked up quickly.

I asked her why she was waiting in my room and she quickly signed back that she was upset for Cary. He had come home exhausted, his head drooping, his shirt off and over his shoulder, looking forward to a shower and a good meal, but Aunt Sara greeted him at the door and told him what Uncle Jacob demanded. May said Cary didn't even set foot in the house. He turned and hopped into his truck. May claimed she had gone out after him, trying to get him to wait. She wanted to go along, but he shot off angrily and drove so fast, he nearly turned over making the turn! she exclaimed through her hands and eyes. May told me she had come into my room afterward because she was actually frightened by all this. She had been hoping I would soon come home and comfort her.

It filled me with rage, but rage that wasn't aimed at Uncle Jacob as much as it was at the whole situation. How could I go down there later and tell Aunt Sara that I was going to move in with Kenneth Childs? How could I desert her and May and Cary at this point?, Aunt Sara still thought I had been sent to fill the gap made in her heart by Laura's death. Cary and May needed me more than ever. I felt frustrated, turned and twisted. Aunt Sara wasn't the sailboat in a windless sea, I was. I was the one who had little or no control of her destiny. Capricious fate blew at my sails or left me in a state of dreary calm whenever it had a whim to do so.

I assured May that everything would be all right. I promised her I would help Aunt Sara and we would make Uncle Jacob comfortable and happy again. Then I went into the bathroom and took a quick shower, feeling as if I had swallowed a lump of bread dough and it was stuck in my chest. As I was toweling my hair dry, I heard shouting in the hallway and hurried to my door.

What was going on now?

Cary was standing outside his father's bedroom, his head lowered until his chin rested on his chest, listening to Uncle Jacob rant and rave.

"We never had a catch that bad! What the hell was Roy doing? I bet he's been slacking off without me looking over his shoulder, is that it? The man works for you. You can't treat him like a friend. You treat him like an employee or else he'll take

advantage."

"It wasn't his fault, Dad, or mine. We did everything we always do."

"Two lobsters! Two lobsters! And each barely a pound and a quarter?"

"I told you we have to get out of the lobster business, Dad," Cary said softly.

"Never mind that nonsense. I see I've got to get myself up and out of this bed faster. Tell your mother I'm ready to eat," he snapped.

Cary nodded and turned. He saw me wrapped in a bath towel standing in the doorway. His eyes brightened for a moment and then became dull again when he realized I had been there while Uncle Jacob verbally whipped him.

"Hi," I said.

"Hi. I thought you'd be home before me," he added as he walked with me down the hallway.

"We got so lost in the work, we didn't realize the time until Holly came knocking on the studio door." Cary smirked at my excuse.