Heartsong (Logan 2)

"What's Kenneth going to say about it?"

"I don't know. I'll tell him in the morning."

"Then you've made up your mind?" Cary asked, stopping. I felt May's grip tighten. We had told her nothing, but she surely sensed the tension in my fingers.

"Maybe I can do more good this way, good for Grandma Belinda, too. I think Grandma Olivia and I have reached an understanding. We're like two pit bulls who've faced each other, claimed our own territory, and backed away. Besides, she's not all wrong about men," I said with some bitterness. "Judge Childs, my grandfather, wasn't exactly thinking about how his actions would affect people he supposedly loved. I feel sorry for him now, but I don't approve of what he did. Every time I think of Kenneth's face when he described what happened with my mother, I get a little sick about it all. Kenneth blames him for my mother's bad behavior, for everything. It's terrible for a son and a father to be so estranged. I don't want anything like that to happen between you and Uncle Jacob, Cary."

"It won't. It doesn't have to happen if you stay here, either," he said.

"It might. And then in the end, you would only hate me for it."

"I would never--"

"Besides," I offered, "you and I will probably have an easier time-seeing each other this way. We would actually go on dates."

He thought about it and I saw that pleased him. We walked on until we came to a small hill, spotted with scrub bushes. We all sat there a while, the wind making my and May's hair dance over our foreheads and faces. She laughed about it as we brushed the strands away from each other's eyes.

"May's not going to understand your moving out," Cary said.

"I'll explain it to her somehow so she doesn't feel terrible about it."

"She'll miss you almost as much as I will," he warned.

"You'll bring her to see me and she'll spend lots of time there."

"It won't be the same for her. She's never been comfortable at Grandma Olivia's. She's always afraid of breaking something valuable or tracking in dirt."

"I'll see to it that she's more comfortable there," I assured him.

"You're not thinking you will change Grandma Olivia, are you, Melody?" Cary asked with a smile. "You never know," I said and he laughed.

"I swear you have more blind faith than Laura had and that's saying a lot, too."

May stood up and went to fetch something in the sand. While she was away, Cary leaned over and kissed me softly on the lips.

"It's going to be hard for me not having you right across the hall, Melody," he whispered.

"I won't be far away," I promised and he kissed me again.

May returned with what looked like a girl's light brown shoe. The discovery excited her and she handed it to Cary and signed questions quickly. He shook his head.

"Someone could have lost it running on the beach," he explained. Turning to me, he added, "She thinks it comes from a boat that sank, but the ocean doesn't give up its treasures that easily," he remarked. May wanted to keep it. However, Cary didn't want her to have it, calling it garbage. "In the back of her mind," he muttered, "she thinks it's a gift from Laura. She's always expecting some sign to prove her sister hasn't forgotten her."

"It's not a bad thing to hope for, Cary," I told him, but he shook his head.

"It's useless and painful. It's better we don't give her any encouragement," he insisted.

Reluctantly, May left the shoe and we walked on, making a circle before returning to the house. Aunt Sara was downstairs preparing tea and some biscuits for Uncle Jacob. I told Cary I wanted to hold off telling her about my discussion with Grandma Olivia.

"Grandma Olivia will probably tell her herself," Cary said, and sure enough, Aunt Sara revealed that Grandma Olivia had called to say she was coming to visit again tomorrow.

"Two days in a row. Isn't that nice?" she added.

Neither Cary nor I said anything, suspecting the real reasons for the visit. May was tired, so we went upstairs and I helped her get ready for bed. I watched her sign and mouth her prayers and then kissed her cheek and fixed her blanket. As I started away, she seized my hand and told me she had a secret. I watched as she described how she was going back tomorrow to get that shoe and put it with the other things she had found on the beach. They were all in a box in her closet and she had shown them to no one but me. I promised I wouldn't tell Cary. All of us, especially little girls, needed someone to trust, someone with whom we could share o

ur deepest secrets. She looked relieved, happy, and wished me a good night.

I lay awake for a long time, listening to the sounds in the house. The wind died down just as Cary had predicted it would. I could hear Aunt Sara's and Uncle Jacob's muffled voices. They sounded like ghosts in the walls. After a while, they were silent and there was nothing but the creaks in the floors and ceilings. One of those creaks grew louder and then I heard my door open and close. Cary's silhouette moved quickly to the side of my bed where he knelt. My heart was pounding.