Heartsong (Logan 2)

Later that evening, Aunt Sara called me to the telephone. It was Alice Morgan, my best friend in Sewell. She was very excited because her mother had finally given in and said she could make the trip to Provincetown to visit me.

"I can leave the day after tomorrow!" she exclaimed. "Is that all right?"

"Oh Alice," I said and thought a moment. What would I do with her now? How could I bring her along with me to Kenneth's studio? What was happening there had to be kept private for a number of reasons, not least of which was the growing feelings we were developing for each other.

Alice was always the immature one, even though she was one of the brightest students in school. Her family was one of the richest in Sewell, but she had never had a boyfriend. She was much too interested in books and studying to be bothered with clothes and makeup, which seemed to be the only thing that boys our age noticed. Despite our differences, she was a faithful friend. I hated hurting her.

"What's wrong, Melody? I thought you would be happy about it. We're finally going to see each other after all this time apart," she cried.

"I know. It's just that . . ."

"Just that what?"

"Just that I've taken a job and I won't have time to properly entertain you. You'd have to spend hours and hours alone, and I couldn't leave you alone at this house. My uncle Jacob would make you miserable and Aunt Sara would drive you crazy. It wouldn't be much of a holiday for you."

"What about Cary?" she asked timidly. Was that her real motive for wanting to come?

"Oh, he works long hours too, Alice. He's never around."

"I see," she said, her little voice drifting away. It brought tears to my eyes as I imagined her in her room, her bubble of excitement bursting. "What kind of a job do you have?"

"I work with a local artist," I said. "Sometimes, he uses me to model for his pictures."

"Really? A ,model?"

"Just simple things," I said quickly, "like a girl walking on the beach or walking with his dog on the dunes. But I have to do a lot more. I'm there from early morning to dinner and sometimes later, so you see why it wouldn't be a very fun vacation."

"Oh."

"Maybe before the summer's over,I'll have a break and you can come.I'll stay in touch and call you as soon as I know when I can get some time off, okay?"

"Okay," she said, but her disappointment was more than obvious.

After I cradled the receiver, I felt just awful. There wasn't anything Alice wouldn't have done for me if I had asked her, and when I was desperate, she was ready to give me money, have me move into her house, anything. Cary was right, I thought. I was becoming a different person, but perhaps when you became mature, you also left part of yourself behind with the little girl in you. Becoming an adult seemed to mean becoming a little more selfish in different ways.

I promised myself I would put aside a few days for Alice before the summer ended. Once the sculpture was almost finished Kenneth was sure to need me less and then I could call Alice and have her come for a visit, I thought. It eased my troubled conscience and helped me to put her voice and probable tears out of my mind for the time being. I couldn't dwell on it anyway. I was too busy.

Kenneth had me work a half a day on the following Saturday. When Cary heard, he was full of questions. He came to my door, knocked, and started asking.

"Why does Kenneth need you on Saturday? What does he want you to do?"

"Same things I do all week, Cary," I said. I still hadn't mentioned my modeling and now I probably never would.

"Doesn't he take time off?"

"It's only for half of the day and he takes off Sundays. When he gets into a project, he becomes totally involved, absorbed by it."

"Sounds like he has nothing else to do with his life," he muttered. "Did he mention that boat again?"

"No, not yet."

Cary smirked.

"Thought so. Everyone is so full of . . . seaweed," he remarked.

"Kenneth doesn't say something if he doesn't mean it, Cary Logan. He'll bring it up soon. I'm sure." Cary raised his eyebrows.

"How come you're so sure of whatever he says all of a sudden?"