Unfinished Symphony (Logan 3)

"Not until I know the whole truth, Mommy. I want to know who my real father is. You've got to tell me."

She nodded and turned her back to me as she turned her gaze to the window.

"I was wild. I wanted so much to hurt them all, to keep hurting them, embarrassing them. I drank, hung out with older friends, flirted with everyone. And then one night, after I had been out drinking, I decided to walk home. It was a warm night, full of stars. I remember getting dizzy every time I looked up at the sky.

"Suddenly, he was there in his car beside me. I turned and he rolled down his window and asked me why I was walking alone so late at night. He sounded so protective, so concerned. He said he would drive me home so I got into his car, only he didn't drive me home. He drove me to a beach road and he talked about his unhappy life, how he was married to a beautiful woman and making a lot of money, but how he was still dissatisfied. His life was missing something, some excitement, and he said whenever he saw me, no matter where I was or what I was doing, he was filled with that once-in-a-lifetime excitement."

Mommy turned to me.

"You have to understand how it was for me, Melody. No man had ever spoken to me like that. I was swept off my feet and this man . .. he was successful and well-to-do and he was telling me I was more important to him. How could I resist?

"I made love with him and it was special. We met often, secretly and then I became pregnant with you and it all went out of control. It wouldn't have done me any good to reveal his identity. He wouldn't leave his family for me, and when Olivia attacked me, I made my decision to get my revenge. I never told anyone the truth, not Chester, not Kenneth, no one."

I held my breath until I could hold it no more. "Who was he, Mommy? Is he still in Provincetown?"

"Yes, honey, he is," she said. "His name is Teddy Jackson. They call him T.J.," she said.

I know my heart stopped beating for a moment. I know my blood drained from my face. I felt the room spin. Mommy grasped my hand. I closed my eyes and battled for a breath.

"Are you all right?"

I didn't reply. I waited until my heart started beating again, swallowed and nodded.

"His son," I said, "Adam Jackson, tried to be my boyfriend when I first arrived."

"Oh no. Did you want to be his girlfriend?"

"No, I hated him. He's arrogant."

"Good," she said. "For a moment I thought I did to you what Judge Childs had done to Kenneth and me."

"I think I had a feeling about Mr. Jackson, Mommy."

"He's spoken to you?"

"From time to time, and whenever he has, he's been very nice."

"He'll never come forward and admit it, honey. He has a family, a position in the community--"

"I don't care. I just wanted to know who he was," I said. "Thank you for that, Mommy."

I stood up. Madam Marlene had been right when she read my palm. I was looking for love in the wrong place.

"Maybe you shouldn't go yet, Melody. Maybe you should stay another day."

"No. I don't bel

ong here, Mommy, and Cary needs me. He needs me far more than you do," I said.

My mother stared at me as if I was a stranger and then she nodded.

The lies would end between us and like two people who had finally lifted the masks from their faces, we finally saw each other for who we truly were.

And we both knew we would have to live with that forever. For better or worse.

11

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