Music in the Night (Logan 4)

She turned when she realized we were all staring at her.

"My daddy . . . used to come into my room and sing that to me and tell me to look up at the ceiling and the stars would appear. So, I looked while he . ."

Tears rolled out of her eyes.

"I hate secrets," she said, staring at Lawrence. "I hate having to keep secrets!"

She got up and walked out quickly.

"What's with her?" Mary Beth said.

I shook my head and looked at Lawrence, who gazed after her and then back at me, his face full of sadness and pity. I smiled at him. He didn't hate her for what she had done to him. He truly felt sorry for her.

Megan didn't appear for the rest of that afternoon. At dinner, we all got our food and sat, but she didn't come into the cafeteria. Billy, the attendant, approached our table suspiciously.

"Where's Queen Megan?" he demanded. "She knows what it means if you don't show up for dinner," he said pointedly, directing himself at Mary Beth, who quickly looked down at her lap.

"She said she would be right along," Lawrence told him firmly. Billy raised his eyebrows.

"What are you, her lawyer?"

Lawrence turned crimson. Billy laughed and returned to his position, but he kept looking at our table and at the door.

"I'm going to go get her," I signed to Lawrence and rose as inconspicuously as I could. I left the cafeteria and hurried up the corridor to the residential wing.

Megan's door was closed. I knocked and waited and then knocked again. We weren't able to lock our doors from the inside, so I knew I could enter her room, but she wasn't exactly the type of person who would forgive you for barging in. But I wanted to warn her about Billy and what he would do if she didn't show up soon, so I opened the door slightly and peeked in.

At first I thought she was gone. She wasn't sitting in a chair or lying on the bed, but I heard what sounded like water running in the sink so I entered the room and knocked again on the door to get her attention. She didn't appear. I walked slowly to the bathroom and gazed in.

&nbs

p; There she was, sitting on the closed toilet cover, her arms over the edge of the sink. I stepped forward and looked. Her wrists were under a sinkful of ruby red water, so dark it looked like she had cut off her hands. She gazed up at me, her eyes wet with tears, her cheeks streaked, and she smiled.

"Hi, Daddy," she said. And then she began to sing, "Twinkle, twinkle, little star . . ."

I felt my throat close and then open, as the shock of what I saw hit me. I ran to the door, gasping for breath as I tried to summon up my long-lost voice.

"He . . hel . . . help!" I screamed, finding my voice. "HELP, HELP! HELP!"

Two male attendants and Mrs. Kleckner came running down the hall.

"What is it? Why are you shouting?"

"Megan!" I cried and pointed. "She's trying to kill herself!" -

They sped past me and I fell back against the wall, sliding down slowly until I was crouched along the baseboard. The commotion drew some of the staff from the cafeteria and Lawrence and Mary Beth came out, too. Lawrence saw me sitting on the corridor floor and came hurrying over.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Megan tried to commit suicide," I said gravely. He looked down the hall at the staff gathering around her room and then looked back down at me.

"You've got your voice back," he said.

I nodded. Sometimes miracles happened at the strangest times.

Thankfully, I had found Megan in time. She needed only a day in the infirmary. However, they took her upstairs afterward, instead of permitting her to return to her room and to us. We all felt just terrible for her.

"She's probably heavily sedated," Lawrence said at dinner that night.