My Sweet Audrina (Audrina 1)

Everything began to move in on me then. The walls came closer, then receded. Bric-a-brac on the hall tables moved, figurines loomed up hugely. The swirling patterns on the rug snaked around me, trying to choke me as I fought off the blackness that wanted to claim me again. I had to stay awake and in control or I would fall off the cart. Hours and hours of Sylvia crawling behind and pushing. Where was she taking me?

Suddenly the front stairs were just ahead. Nooo! I wanted to yell, but I was mute with terror. Sylvia was going to shove me down the stairs!

“Aud … dreeen … ah,” she said. “Sweeeet Aud … dreen … ah.”

Gently and slowly, the cart curved away from the stairs and headed toward the western wing where the First Audrina’s room was.

In and out of consciousness I flitted, feeling pains stabbing from time to time. I began to silently pray. Downstairs I heard the front door slam.

Speeding up just a fraction, Sylvia made the turn into the playroom.

No, no, no, was all I could think as Sylvia shoved me into the room where all my nightmares had begun. The high bed loomed ahead. Straight under it Sylvia pushed me as I released my hold on my pulled-up knees and fell backward to avoid being knocked out, and just in the nick of time, too. The old-fashioned coil springs, coated with years of layered dust, met my stare. Sylvia peeked under the dust ruffle and then let it drop.

Sylvia’s slow steps faded away. I was alone under the bed with the dust—and a huge spider was spinning a dainty web from one coil to another. It had eyes as black as Vera’s. Seeming aware of my presence, it paused in its chore, looked me over, then went on to complete its half-finished design.

Closing my eyes, I gave in to whatever fate had in store. I tried to relax and not worry about Sylvia, who might forget where she’d hidden me. Who would ever think to look for me under the bed in this room no one used anymore?

Then I heard Vera screaming. “Sylvia! Where is Audrina? Where is she?” There was a crash, as if something had fallen, then another cry, closer this time. “I’ll catch you, Sylvia, and when I do you’ll regret throwing that vase at me! You idiot, what have you done with her? When I catch you I’m going to rip the hair from your scalp!” I heard doors opening and closing as the race to catch Sylvia went on. I didn’t even know Sylvia could run. Or was it Vera running as fast as she could to check every room before Arden and Papa came home?

She was searching in such a hurry that it didn’t seem she could be doing a thorough job. There were so many rooms, so many closets and antechambers.

Then I heard her enter the playroom.

The dust ruffle cleared the rug about half an inch. Painfully, I turned my head, unable to resist, and I saw her navy blue shoes come closer. One had a very thick sole. She was approaching the bed.

The rocking chair began to make those familiar squeaking noises. “Get out of that chair!” snapped Vera, forgetting to look under the bed as she hurried to haul Sylvia away. Vera yelled as Sylvia scampered out of the room. She started to give limping chase.

Just barely I could see her shoes receding. I think I fainted then. I don’t know how long it was before I heard footfalls, and once more Sylvia was peeking under the dust ruffle.

Again Sylvia was tugging on my arm. I tried to help, but this time I was in too much agony. Still, somehow she managed, and later I came back into fading daylight to find myself seated in the calla-lily rocking chair. Sylvia lifted each of my arms so I could grip the chair arms. I screamed. I didn’t want to die! Not here, in her chair!

Sylvia closed the door behind her.

I began to rock. Had to rock now to escape the pain and horror of what was happening.

Easily my full pitcher of woes emptied to hold more. I had no resistance to protest anything that happened. I saw again Vera as she’d been in her early teens, and she was teasing me about not knowing what men and women did to make babies—but you’ll find out one day soon, she whispered.

The rainy day in the woods came again. The boys chased and caught me as always in visions I was the First Audrina, and she made me suffer her shame. It was Arden this time who ripped off my clothes that were her clothes, and Arden who fell on her who was me, and was the first to ravish. I screamed, then screamed again, over and over.

“Audrina,” came my father’s voice from a far, far distance, just when I’d called for him. This time not God, but Papa heard my cries … and in the nick of time.

“Oh, dear God in heaven, my sweet Audrina has pulled out of her coma! She’s screaming! She’s going to recover!”

Feeling like they weighed tons, my lids parted enough for me to see Papa running to me. A few steps behind him was Arden. But I didn’t want to see Arden.

“My darling, my darling,” sobbed Papa as he took me into his strong arms and held me. “Arden, call an ambulance.”

I gasped as I shoved off Arden’s hands that tried to take me from Papa. “The dream, Papa, the First Audrina …” My voice came raspy from disuse, funny sounding.

He sighed and held me closer, though I was fading away. I saw Arden run off, presumably to call the ambulance.

“Yes, my darling, but that was a long time ago, and you’re going to be just fine. Papa will take care of you. And the rest of my life I’ll go down on my knees and give thanks for God sparing you, just when I thought there was no more hope.”

I don’t remember what happened after that. But when I woke up I was in a hospital room with pink walls, and red and pink roses were everywhere. Papa was sitting in a chair near the window. “Let me talk to her,” he said to the nurse, who nodded and told him not to take too long. “Mr. Lowe wants time to see his wife, too.”

Sitting on the bed, Papa tenderly took me into his embrace and held me so I heard his heart thudding. “You’ve had a trying ordeal, Audrina. There were times when neither Arden nor I thought you’d pull through—and that was long before today. Today was a special kind of hell for both of us. We paced outside while the doctor worked on you—and now it appears you’ll be all right.”

But there was something I wanted to know, had to know. “Papa, you’ve got to tell me the truth this time…” My throat hurt when I spoke, but I made myself talk. “Was Arden there when your First Audrina died? I saw his face in my dreams. He was there, wasn’t he? The First Audrina tried to warn me against him, and I paid no heed, no heed.”