Secrets in the Attic (Secrets 1)

"I'm not reading it."

"Suit yourself," she said, and shrugged. "Celui qui vous satisfasse, mon cher. Whatever pleases you, my dear, but you're making a dreadful mistake:' "I would just feel so sneaky, Karen."

"I know what we'll do," she said, bursting with an idea. "I'll read it aloud to you. That way, you're not really reading it. You're just listening."

"It's the same t

hing. Isn't it?" I asked.

"Not really, but the choice is yours."

I thought it would be worse having her read it. It was bad enough that she had read it already. Here I was, betraying another member of my family. All that was left was for me to betray myself, if I hadn't already.

"I'll think about it," I said. "For now, I want to put it back."

She shrugged. "Suit yourself. You'll change your mind," she predicted. "Okay. Let's talk about Dana Martin. When did he say he would call you?"

"He didn't say exactly when."

"He'll call soon, maybe even tonight. You have to be prepared."

"What do I have to prepare?"

"For starters, would your parents let you go on a date with him?"

"Why wouldn't they?"

"Have you gone on a date, a date meaning a boy picks you up in his car at night? Well?" "You know I haven't."

"So, you don't know if they will. You'll find out soon enough, I suppose, but what are you going to do if they say no?"

"I won't go."

"Dumb," she sang. "Come to think of it, why even bother asking permission? You'll go, but you'll do it a different way. You'll meet him in the village secretly, as I did:'

"How can I do that?"

"You'll take a bike ride, supposedly to get some ice cream or something. Be creative."

I shook my head. "Why is it so important for me to be with Dana Martin, anyway?"

"You want to be a virgin forever?"

"What?"

"One thing I did learn from my mother that makes sense, Zipporah, is that we have the

opportunity to decide with whom and when we want to have our first full sexual experience. Too many girls have it spontaneously, get swept into it or talked into it, or just are too stupid to realize what's happening. Not us, not you and me," she vowed.

"Now," she continued, taking my hands into hers and looking directly into my face. "Can you think of a better-looking, more exciting boy to be with this first time than Dana Martin? It's something you'll have forever. Imagine," she said, "having the experience with some oaf or some ordinary boy who just happens to ring the right bells."

I started to shake my head again, memories of my mother and my conversation in the sitting room returning.

"It's too dangerous even to consider," I said.,

"Dangerous?" She laughed. "No, it isn't. That's what adults, mothers and fathers, are supposed to tell you, even though they didn't live that way themselves. It's the crowning hypocrisy of parenthood. We'll be different sorts of mothers, won't we? We'll be honest with our children."

"But weren't you afraid of becoming pregnant?"