Secrets in the Shadows (Secrets 2)

I smiled and thought, It's true. It is an emergence of sorts. I'm breaking out of the attic. The shadows were in flight. The brightness from our happiness was too strong for them.

We floated off like two meteors side by side on the way to another universe, one where darkness and unhappiness didn't exist. Neither of us spoke. It was as if we needed only to think at each other and look at each other to know the contents of our hearts.

"I've always been afraid to be this happy," I said in a loud whisper.

He turned and smiled at me.

"Why?"

-I don't know. It's like . ."

"Like you're letting go of all the bad stuff?" "And that makes you feel guilty?"

"Yes."

"Then let's both feel guilty," he said, "like Adam and Eve. We'll both break the rules."

He laughed.

But was it funny? Should we laugh and be happy? After all, they lost paradise.

"Yes"

9 The Accident

. The Cherry Hill was one of the most glamorous and well-known hotels in the upstate resort area. It was a large, sprawling property with its own golf course, Olympic-size pool, nightclub and indoor skating rink. Normally, the students who went there for any reason were excited about it, but tonight we were given the golf club to use as our private dance hall and party room, and that made it even more exciting.

The hotel provided valet parking and had spotlights set up so it looked like celebrities were arriving. There was even a red carpet for us. When we drove up in the classic automobile, the students who had already arrived came to the door to look, and those who had just arrived ahead of us stood by to watch us pull up. There was even some applause. The class had hired a photographer to take the prom pictures, and he was clicking away madly as Craig and I stepped out of the car, his flash popping. The music was piped into some outside speakers so that it felt as if the party began the moment I stepped out of the car. Showing off for his friends, Craig took me in his arms and spun us around like two professional dancers on the red carpet. There was laughter and applause.

Craig's face seemed to absorb the brightness from the flashbulbs. His shoulders rose, and he swelled with pride. Right from the moment he had picked me up, I had been wondering if his parents' anger and attitude about his taking me would somehow seep into the evening and ruin our night. I was sure it was on his mind as well.

"I knew I asked the right girl to the prom. I told you that you would be the prom queen," he whispered as he took my arm and continued to lead me down the red carpet.

Craig's buddies wanted to know how he had managed to get the car. No one asked why he had done it; they all just assumed he wanted something special. Everyone was shaking his hand and patting him on the back as if he had hit a home run at the play-off game and not struck out.

I felt as if I had been lifted off earth in a rocket ship. Just a few weeks ago, before the spring break, I had been less than a shadow in the school--and a passing one at that. Now, I was the absolute center of attention with a ring of envious girls circling me, trying to get me to talk to them. Girls like Mindy Taylor and Peggy Okun, who had once tried to hurt me, were now relegated to the dark corners of the room. Amazed at my turnaround, they had sour faces and looked like they had been shrunken. I was sure they were in just as much a daze over all this as I was, only they weren't enjoying any of it.

Craig and I went out to the dance floor immediately, and so did the others around us. In fact, it seemed as if we were leading most of the prom attendees about on a leash, doing whatever we decided to do. When we went to the punch bowl, others did. When we had some snacks, they did. When we danced, they danced, and when we stood around to talk, the crowd gathered to hear every word.

What would my mother's life have been like if she had experienced these things? I wondered. Would it have changed her, helped her, kept her from disaster? If ever there was such a thing as an injection of self- confidence, this was it. I could now tell myself that there wasn't anyone who intimidated me, who danced much better than I danced, or looked much better than I looked. Suddenly competing with girls my age in this world didn't seem all that difficult. I truly felt as if Craig and I glowed on that dance floor, and it wasn't only because of the car and our clothes.

Craig was already a big shot in the school, being the class president and an athletic hero. Our stunning, dramatic appearance and the energy we radiated simply enhanced it all. Now that I was here, I did feel like I had been discovered, and deservedly so. I soaked up the attention from other boys and the girls

willingly. I know I was far more talkative than ever, laughed more than I had ever laughed, and simply enjoyed myself for myself. I had never really taken pleasure in who I was, but I did this night and thought perhaps I would from now on. We had both made good decisions for ourselves when we remained determined to stay together and attend the prom.

"I can't believe how pretty you look. You're like an actress or something," Marsha Green told me. I just smiled at her. I didn't know what to say to someone gushing at me like that, especially her. She sat next to me in math class and hadn't so much as yawned in my direction before this.

A little while later, Craig pulled me aside and took the glass of punch out of my hands.

"I just found out that someone poured vodka in it," he said.

"Really? I didn't taste it."

"That's the idea. It's well disguised, but I don't want a replay from Mickey's party. I have something else for us that's better," he told me and patted his jacket.

Before I could ask him what that was, he was pulled away by Bobby Robinson to hear a joke. Even though all the boys had dates to attend to, they still liked to clump together and pass stories among themselves. Why were only girls considered gossips? I wondered and laughed to myself. I was making so many new and wonderful discoveries about the world I was in and the people I knew.

Moments later, the band, who was given the task of choosing the prom king and queen, stopped playing to announce whom they had selected. My heart began to pound. I could see from the way most of the others were looking at Craig and me that they expected we would be crowned. Nevertheless, when the band leader said our names in the microphone, I felt my legs nearly turn to jelly.