Rain (Hudson 1)

"Yeah, well, it didn't help to tell them about me. Why'd you do that, Beni?"

"It just came out," she claimed. "I was upset and I said it before I thought. I'm sorry."

We heard the bell ring.

"Now we'll both be late for class," I cried.

"You can't go anywhere like that anyway. I've got a sweatshirt in my locker. I'll go get it Stay here," she commanded. She turned to go and then paused. "I'm sorry," she said.

I just looked down at the floor, angry at her, angry at Mama again, angry at the world for putting me here. I sucked back my tears and thought seriously about running away. I'd be better off anywhere but here, I thought. -Here, I was going to only be trouble.

Beni was back quickly. I took the sweatshirt and peeled off what remained of my blouse.

"They're nothing more than a bunch of animals," I said. "I don't know how you can stand being with them, Beni."

"They're the only friends I've got."

"You're better off with no friends. I'm not going to class," I told her after I put on her sweatshirt and picked up my books. "I'm going to the nurse."

"I didn't tell them to do this to you," Beni assured me. I just stood there, looking down.

"Mama's gonna hate me more now," she added. "Mama doesn't hate you, Beni."

She held her lips tight as her eyes watered with tears.

"She wishes you were her real daughter, not me," she said. "You're everything she wants in a daughter

. I stink in school and I'm always in trouble. That's why she kept it a secret all these years from us and from you. She just wanted you to be her real daughter and not me," Beni concluded.

"That's not true, Beni. There's nothing stronger than bonds of blood. You're really a part of her. She carried you and gave birth to you and nursed you. I was just dropped on the doorstep, brought in like something you buy in a store. And now look at me. I'm nowhere. Who wants me? Where do I belong? How do you think it feels knowing your real mother gave you away as easily as she'd give away an old dress or something? You're the only family I have and you hate me, too," I added.

"I don't hate you." She paused, looked down and then up at me with sad eyes. "I'm sorry," she said. "I just have a big mouth. It always gets me in trouble. Look at your blouse."

We gazed down at the torn garment in my hands. "Mama bought me this for my birthday last year," I said.

"I'm going to kick the guts outta that Nicole."

"No, you won't, Beth. That's just going to make more trouble for both of us. Ignore them."

"What are you going to tell Mama?"

"Nothing," I said. "She has too many burdens to carry and you and.i aren't going to add any more, okay? I'll just hide the blouse. She won't know. Okay?"

She looked down so I poked her in the shoulder. "Okay?"

She smiled at me.

"Okay. Maybe I should go to the nurse, too," she thought aloud. "Otherwise, I'll be in trouble for being late to class and get detention."

"What do you think the nurse is going to think about both of us going to her at the same time?"

She laughed.

"She isn't going to believe this face anyway. That's for sure. I'll see you later, much later," she added and headed to class. I took a deep breath and followed her out.

I wasn't one to use the nurse as a way of avoiding things. In fact, this was the first time I had ever gone to see her. She took one look at my face and asked me to lie down. She took my temperature and then concluded I might be coming down with something.

"Is there someone at home to come for you?" she asked.