Towers of Midnight (The Wheel of Time 13)
"We don't have time for that," Elayne replied. "We don't have time for much, these days. Risks must be taken."
"Risks involving the Queen of Andor going alone to face a mob of the Black Ajah? You're like some blood-besotted idiot on the battlefield, charging ahead of his comrades, seeking death without a shield-mate to guard your back!"
Elayne blinked at the anger in the woman.
"Don't you trust me, Elayne?" Birgitte asked. "Would you be rid of me, if you could?"
"What? No! Of course I trust you."
"Then why won't you let me help you? I'm not supposed to be here, now. I have no purpose other than what circumstance has given me. You made me your Warder, but you won't let me protect you! How can I be your bodyguard if you won't tell me when you're putting yourself in danger?"
Elayne felt like pulling the covers up to shield herself from those eyes. How could Birgitte be the one who felt so hurt? Elayne had been the one who'd been wounded! "If it means anything," she said, "I don't intend to do this again."
"No. You'll do something else reckless."
"I mean, I intend to be more careful. Maybe you're right, and the viewing isn't a perfect guarantee. It certainly' didn't stop me from panicking when I felt a real danger."
"You didn't feel a real danger when the Black Ajah locked you up and tried to cart you away?"
Elayne hesitated. She should have been frightened that time, but she hadn't been. Not only because of Min's viewing. The Black Ajah would never have killed her, not under those circumstances. She was too valuable.
Feeling that knife enter her side, pierce her skin, dig toward her womb . . . that had been different. The terror. She could remember the world blackening around her, her heartbeat thudding, growing louder, like the drumbeats at the end of a performance. The ones that came before the silence.
Birgitte regarded Elayne appraisingly. She could feel Elayne's emotions. She was Queen. She could not avoid risks. But . . . perhaps she could rein herself in.
"Well," Birgitte said, "did you at least discover anything?"
"I did," Elayne said. "I- "
At that moment, a scarf-wrapped head appeared in the doorway. Mat had his eyes closed. "You covered up?"
"Yes," Elayne said. "And in a far more fashionable way than you, Matrim Cauthon. That scarf looks ridiculous."
He scowled, opening his eyes and pulling off the scarf, revealing the
angular face beneath. "You try moving through the city without being recognized," he said. "Every butcher, innkeeper and bloody backroom slipfinger seems to know what I look like these days."
"The Black sisters were planning to have you assassinated," Elayne said.
"What?" Mat asked.
Elayne nodded. "One mentioned you. It sounded like Darkfriends had been searching for you for some time, with the intent of killing you."
Birgitte shrugged. "They're Darkfriends. No doubt they want us all dead."
"This was different," Elayne said. "It seemed more . . . intense. I suggest keeping your wits about you the next while."
"That'll be a trick," Birgitte noted. "Seeing as to how he doesn't have any wits in the first place."
Mat rolled his eyes. "Did I miss you explaining what you were doing in the flaming dungeons, sitting in a pool of your own blood, looking for all the world like you'd seen the losing end of a battlefield skirmish?"
"I was interrogating the Black Ajah," Elayne said. "The details are none of your concern. Birgitte, have you a report from the grounds?"
"Nobody saw Mellar leave," the Warder said. "Though we found the secretary's body on the ground floor, still warm. Died from a knife to the back."
Elayne sighed. "Shiaine?"
"Gone," Birgitte said, "along with Marillin Gemalphin and Falion Bhoda."