Strip Search (Tap That)

“Since tenth grade.” He snorted. “It was a sacrificial suck. I felt sorry for her.”

“How generous of you.” She rolled her eyes.

“Explain to me what is going on. How can a cop be a stripper?”

Leighton started with the bachelorette party and explained how Axl had saved her from a panic attack.

“Hot and observant. I like. Go on.”

“I didn’t know it was a charity event. I thought he was a stripper, you know, nightly. So when he pulled me over I thought it was a joke.”

“Cops that pull me over are never strippers. So disappointing.”

In hindsight, it sounded kind of dumb. “I thought it was a setup. I acted like a freak, but what’s even weirder is he kissed me. Now I’m getting fired if I don’t produce a wedding and he is in trouble at work because my dashcam recorded everything. His solution is that we get married instead of Winnie and Todd.”

“One, who the fuck are Winnie and Todd? Two, excuse me? Did you just say you’re marrying the stripper cop?” His voice sounded scandalized, yet excited.

“He’s not really a stripper. But yes, that’s his solution. A fake wedding that everyone thinks is real after a whirlwind romance.”

“That’s so now. Totally on trend. I love it.”

“You do?” Leighton bit her fingernail. “You don’t think it’s a horrible idea to fake a relationship for career advancement?”

“I want you to listen to yourself. You have betrayed your roots with that question. Faking a relationship for career advancement is mild compared to what some people in LA do.”

“That’s a valid point.” Relationships might be scraping the surface of what people had faked.

“Is he cute or does he have a butterface?”

Leighton pictured those strong cheekbones, that stern jaw. His rich amber eyes. “Oh, he’s good looking, trust me. In a real man sort of way, super masculine. Not a pretty boy. At all.”

“That basically guarantees he won’t be selfish in bed. Pretty boys are selfish. And oddly enough, ugly guys. You think they would try harder, but they don’t. It’s like they feel life owes them easy sex after being born with a hook nose. I’ve done the legwork on this so I know what I’m talking about.”

“I’m not going to have sex with him.” She wanted to, but she didn’t think it was a good idea. She didn’t trust herself to stay detached.

“I can’t even with you right now. Why the actual fuck not?”

“Because it’s a bad idea.” She tried to sound firm.

“Wearing peach with your complexion is a bad idea. Having sex with a hot cop that you are having a fake relationship with sounds like your best idea ever.”

“I can’t wear peach?” Was he serious? She had a dozen items in her wardrobe that could classified as belonging to the peach family. She’d worn peach the night before.

Zach sighed. “No, you can’t. But that’s beside the point. Please have sex with the cop. For me.”

That made her laugh. “Everything you just said is so wrong.”

“I gotta go. A certain aging diva just showed up an hour late so now I have to rush. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

“Fuck the cop!” he said and made kissing sounds. “Ciao.”

Leighton pictured her ankles on Axl’s shoulder.

Damn Jackson to hell for putting that imagery in her head.

She could not have sex with Axl. She didn’t think. Probably not. Or she’d regret it. After enjoying it. Right?