Strip Search (Tap That)
“You have cancer, don’t you?” His mother, who had decided it was time to give up covering her gray hair, was midway through growing it out, giving it a certain Cruella de Vil quality. With the wrinkle of her nose and her harsh words, she was a little intimidating, even to him, a grown-ass man who had seen combat.
It didn’t surprise Axl she’d leaped straight to
life-threatening illness. That was just the way she was. “I do not have cancer or any other illness. Dad,” he yelled. “Can you come in here?”
He didn’t have a lot of time. He was supposed to be cooking dinner for Leighton, with a camera crew present. He was going to hate the camera, love spending time with her. He was still riding the high of sex with her and had no qualms about what he was about to say. It was time for Rob and Hillary to back off and let him live his life exactly the way he wanted to—which was as a single man indefinitely.
His father came wandering in, wearing a Vikings T-shirt. His father had recently retired after thirty-five years in construction and he was bored as shit by his own admission. His mother was still a school teacher but hadn’t gone back for the new year yet.
“What’s up, kid?” His dad clapped him on the back and wandered past him to open the refrigerator.
“Rob, it’s four o’clock. Don’t go snacking now. You won’t want dinner.”
His father sighed. He didn’t argue. He just slammed the door to the fridge closed and looked miserable.
Axl knew his parents were happy in their marriage. He also knew that his father lived for the days when he could leave at four in the morning to go fishing and leave his wife’s chatter behind. Axl was like his father in that regard and he did not want to be running away from a woman. He just wanted to live his life in peace. Which was why it was crucial for them to perceive his spontaneous “marriage” as a mistake.
“I met a girl and we’re getting married Saturday. The girl in the video.” That was his style. Cut to the chase. Straight forward. No sense in creating a build up.
His mother dropped the ceramic bowl she had been holding. It cracked in two solid pieces.
“Whoa.” He bent down to pick it up. “Damn, that was a clean split.”
“Axl Warren Moore.” His mother’s lip was trembling. “What on earth are you talking about?”
“I don’t know any details about the wedding because she’s planning it, but hopefully you can be there.”
“Well. Congratulations, son.” His father stuck his hand out. “Didn’t know you were seeing anyone. Huh. Who’s the lucky girl?”
“Her name is Leighton Van Buren. She’s from LA.” He shook his dad’s outstretched hand. “Thanks, Dad. Appreciate it.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” his mother shrieked, repeating herself. “How do you know a woman from Los Angeles? You told me that girl is someone you’re dating.”
“We just met on Friday. She’s in town to film a TV show as part of the production crew.” He felt mildly guilty over his mother’s distress but he figured give her a day or two and she’d be enthusiastically saying she’d always known he would marry someone from California or some shit like that. Hillary Moore was tough as nails but she could also spin anything to fit her narrative.
His father just nodded, like this was no particular issue. “When it’s time it’s time.”
“Rob, are you nuts?” His mother glared at his father. “And Axl, you’re clearly nuts. It’s Sunday. How can you say you’re marrying someone you met two days ago?” She made a sign of the cross.
Considering they were not Catholic and his mother had never been particularly religious, it was an intriguing and dramatic gesture. “Mom. I’m decisive. You know that.”
“You cannot confuse lust with love.”
Setting his apple down, he picked up her broken bowl and tossed it in the trash bin. “I’m twenty-nine years old. I know the difference, trust me.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Say you’ll be at the wedding. I can bring Leighton over this week to meet you.” He had a feeling that wouldn’t go over well with Leighton but if held her hand and did most of the talking he could bluster his way through it. Especially if the introductions took place somewhere public.
“We’ll be there.” His father opened the refrigerator again.
His mother slapped his father’s arm. “Get out of the damn fridge!”
“Oh, by the way,” Axl added, striving for casual. “The wedding is going to air on TV in a few months as part of Leighton’s show.” He’d gotten a text from Leighton that her boss had given the plan the thumbs up.
“Now you’ve really lost it. You expect me to be on TV when I’m growing out my gray? I need another six months!”
That kind of amused him. “It’s not a big deal. You look beautiful, Mom.”