The Crazy Rich Asians Trilogy

*2 Crazy Ric

h Chinese + Indonesia = Chindos

*3 Hokkien for “dog shit.”

*4 “Red hair” in Hokkien, this is a slang term used to refer to Caucasians of all stripes, even though the majority of Caucasians don’t have red hair (or stripes).

*5 Although this Cantonese phrase means “Scares people to death,” it is used to describe anything that’s gross or creepy.

*6 Hokkien for “You have such a good life.”

*7 Hokkien for “a very profitable business.”

*8 Malay for “toilet.”

*9 Hokkien for “Fifteenth Night,” a celebration held on the fifteenth day of the first lunar month to mark the official end of New Year celebrations. On this evening, single ladies will cast oranges in the river under the full moon in the hopes of finding good husbands, while everyone else in Singapore starts planning their diets.

*10 Deep-fried milk dumplings soaked in a sweet rose syrup.

*11 Hokkien for “I couldn’t give a damn.”

*12 Hokkien for “insane woman.”

8

DIAMOND BALLROOM, RITZ-CARLTON HOTEL

HONG KONG, MARCH 7, 2013

PINNACLE MAGAZINE’S “SOCIAL SWELLS” COLUMN

by Leonardo Lai

Last night, a star-studded crowd lit up the Fifteenth Annual Ming Foundation Pinnacle Ball. The event is a labor of love for Connie Ming, the first wife of Hong Kong’s second richest man Ming Ka-Ching, and the HK$25,000-per-seat tickets to this year’s soiree sold fast when word got out that the Duchess of Oxbridge, a cousin of H.M. Queen Elizabeth II, would attend, and that the Four Heavenly Kings*1 would reunite to perform a tribute to legendary songstress Tracy Kuan, the recipient of this year’s Lifetime Pinnacle Award.

The theme was “Nicholas and Alexandra,” the romantic yet ill-fated imperial couple of Russia, and there was no more perfect setting than the Ritz-Carlton Diamond Ballroom on the third floor of Hong Kong’s tallest building. Guests arrived to find the space transformed into “St. Petersburg in Winter,” with an ocean of Swarovski crystal icicles dangling from the ceiling, birch trees covered in “snow,” and towering Fabergé egg centerpieces on every table. Oscar Liang, the enfant terrible of Cantonese fusion cuisine, outdid himself with his succulent and inventive Ekaterinburg Pork—suckling pig riddled with truffle-infused gold-leaf “bullets” and thrown down a cellar chute before being flame-roasted over Russian coffee grounds.

In this fabulous setting, Hong Kong’s most royal brought out all the big stones from their vaults. Hostess supreme Connie Ming wore a czar’s ransom worth of canary diamonds with her custom strapless black-and-white beaded Oscar de la Renta gown, Ada Poon wore the famous Poon rubies against her rose chiffon couture Elie Saab, and China’s biggest star, Pan TingTing, drew gasps of delight in the gossamer white Empire waist gown once worn by Audrey Hepburn in the film War and Peace. The Kai brothers got into a fistfight (again), and a crisis was narrowly averted when Mrs. Y. K. Loong was shown to the wrong table where the children from her late husband’s second family were seated (the lawsuit to settle the estate resumes later this month). But all was forgotten by the time Tracy Kuan made her entrance on a reindeer sleigh pulled by eight six-pack-popping shirtless male models in Cossack uniforms. Tracy, in a white-fur-and-leather corset dress by Alexander McQueen enchanted the audience by singing three encores accompanied by the Four Heavenly Kings, who really sang live this time.

Also honored was Business Pinnacle of the Year Michael Teo, the ridiculously photogenic tech titan whose meteoric rise has been much talked about. After the stock price of his tiny software firm shot up higher than Mount Fuji two years ago, Michael took the proceeds and opened his own venture capital firm, which made gazillions more launching some of Asia’s most winning digital start-ups, like Gong Simi?, the Singlish messaging app. The big question I have is where has Michael been hiding his beautiful Singaporean wife all this time? The doe-eyed Astor Teo looked absolutely ravishing in a wispy black lace number (vintage Fontana), though I wished there was more bling to her diamond-and-aquamarine earrings. (With all the money her husband has made lately, it’s high time he upgraded her jewels!)

Sir Francis Poon, who was awarded the Philanthropic Pinnacle Award, got the biggest surprise of the evening when Mrs. Bernard Tai (aka the former soap star Kitty Pong), overcome with emotion from Sir Francis’s touching slide show about his medical rescue missions, rushed onstage and shocked the crowd by spontaneously announcing a $20 million gift to his foundation! Mrs. Tai wore a scene-stealing scarlet Guo Pei gown with what looked like a billion dollars’ worth of emeralds and a six-foot-long train made out of peacock feathers. But it sure looks like she won’t need any feathers to soar to new social heights.

• • •

Astrid settled into a club chair at the SilverKris Lounge at Hong Kong International Airport, waiting for her flight to Los Angeles to begin boarding. She got out her iPad to do a final check of e-mails, and an instant message popped up.

CHARLIE WU: Good seeing you last night.

ASTRID LEONG TEO: Likewise.

CW: What are you up to today? Lunch possible?

ALT: Sorry, I’m already at the airport.

CW: Such a short trip!

ALT: Yes, that’s why I didn’t call you beforehand. This was a one-nighter on my way to LA.