Mancave (Wild Men 3)
Octavia cries out when they both jump me. But this time around I don’t let it distract me. Octavia is still behind the fence, far from the violence, Evan with her.
I drop the first thug with a right hook and turn to deliver two more punches to the other’s face and chest, sending him stumbling back.
Finally I make my way to Jasper, who actually takes two steps back, lifting his gnarled hands. The hands of a much older man than he is, I realize, shaky, with dark liver spots. His nose is red, his eyes bloodshot, and even from this distance, his breath stinks of booze.
“Stay. Away. From. My family,” I grind out, and keep going until I’m almost chest to chest with Jasper. My wife’s absent father. My friend’s nemesis. “From Evan, from Octavia and your other kids. You know… it’s a blessing you didn’t stick around to fuck them up like you did with Ross.”
Cursing, Jasper, sidesteps me and fumbles with the door handle, letting himself into the truck. It takes him two tries to climb up inside, and I don’t move, watching him.
Did I scare him off enough? God only knows.
A scrabble to my right has me turning in a hurry, but his guys give me a wide berth as they make their way to the other side of the truck.
What, nobody ever fought back against them before? Chickenshit cowards.
“Matt!” Octavia comes out of the gate as the truck rumbles away, an arm folded over her stomach, and I blink, my brain still stuck on Jasper. “Matt.”
Then the haze clears and concern cuts through the red haze of anger. Fuck, what happened? Her face is white as a sheet. The truck pulls off the curb and rolls down the street as I turn toward her.
“Tay. You okay?” I jog over to her, pry her arm from her middle. “The baby?”
Her turn to blink. She glances down. “I’m fine. Well, I thought I was going to throw up from fear, but the baby’s okay. You? They beat you up. Your face…”
Thank fuck. A headache hammers at the back of my eyeballs. I’m shaking my head as I pull her into my arms, dizzy with relief. “I’m fine. Sorry I worried you.”
Dammit, she shouldn’t have come to Destiny with me. This was a mistake. If anything happened to our baby, I wouldn’t forgive myself.
Thank God we’re leaving. Even though I feel bad about leaving Evan alone with his problems, frankly, tomorrow can’t come fast enough.
Part Two
Matt
Once upon a time, I stood alone inside a cage. The cage was made of dreams and memories. I never thought memories could be so hard. Unbreakable. Impossible to escape.
I remember slamming myself against those self-made bars, the jagged edges of happiness I couldn’t let go of, cutting myself on all the good things I used to have.
The love I used to have, before life fucked me over and took it from me.
I was bitter. I lived on that bitterness, breathed it, drank it, held on to it.
See, I thought it was anger, but it was despair. It was the deepest, darkest night of my life, and it was never-ending. I couldn’t find the light switch, couldn’t find the door.
If you’re supposed to escape that dark alone, well… I failed. I don’t think all of us can get out on our own, no matter how strong we think we are. Sometimes we need help. We need a guiding hand, someone who won’t give up on us, who will hold on no matter what.
When her touch found me, I didn’t understand what it meant, what it was. She was as alien to me as the rest of the outside world. Nothing outside my cage made sense. Like looking through dark glass, I saw everything twisted and blurry.
But she was sharp as a blade, her touch slicing through me, and the pain… the pain woke me up. Brought me back. Being with her was good, it was warm and bright, and I couldn’t escape it.
Couldn’t escape the pleasure of it.
The pleasure brought me back. The joy of being with her.
Her love. She wrapped me up in it until I couldn’t hide anymore. Leaving the cage hurt like knives, hurt like dying.
Living again hurt. Moving past all I used to have, letting in all I could have now. With her.
I found out that it never stops hurting. The memories don’t vanish. They still cut fucking deep.