Bad Wolf (Wild Men 4)

I can’t remember even how I get to the nursing home. But once I’m there, the reality slams back into me.

Mom’s dead.

She passed away quickly and suddenly, the doctor tells me. A heart attack in her sleep. A nurse found her during her rounds.

I look at her where she’s laid out on the bed. She seems to be smiling.

I rub a hand over my face and try Sebastian’s phone again. He needs to know.

Does he even care? He hasn’t been in to see her in more than a year. Maybe he doesn’t give a shit.

Or maybe he’s been hiding from the truth, not wanting to accept she’s sick.

Was sick. It’s over now.

Everything slips through my fingers like water, like sand. First my parents, then Connor, then her. You’d think I’d be used to it by now.

But the pain is fresh and raw, and it fucking tears me up inside like a claw, cutting me open.

Does that mean my promise to her is over? Is it broken?

No, promises don’t work that way, do they?

It wasn’t really a promise to her, but to myself. And I got it all wrong. Taking care of Seb doesn’t mean being in a gang with him. It means getting him to leave the gang, somehow. Getting him off the drugs and into rehab. I don’t know how, but I vow I’ll find a way.

I’m changing my promise to a better one. One where both Seb and I come out of this alive.

Chapter Thirty-Three

Gigi

Sydney is sitting at our favorite campus cafeteria, waiting for me, and I wave as I make my way toward her, grinning at her.

She lifts her hand in greeting, but her smile is faint.

I frown as I plunk my tray on the table and slide into the chair beside her. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah.” But she won’t look at me and keeps stirring at her coffee.

“You’re not very convincing. What’s wrong?” It’s hard to bring myself down from the high I’ve been riding for the past couple of weeks, ever since Jarett started coming over, ever since he opened up to me and made me so hopeful for the future. “Wait a minute… Does it have to do with your missing boy? Kash?”

“It does.” The fact doesn’t escape me that she doesn’t deny he’s her boy this time. “I searched for him. You know I did. I asked everyone I could think of, went to every bar and every rave party and…” She lets the spoon drop inside her mug and wipes her hands on her pants. “And nothing. He could be in trouble, he could be dead—”

She claps a hand over her mouth.

“Oh God, Syd…” Reaching over awkwardly, I put my arms around her and hug her to me. “You will find him. I have a feeling that you will.” Unless that’s my good mood talking. “What do the other boys say?”

She shakes her head against my shoulder. “They’ve been looking, too. But we won’t give up.” She pulls back. “We can’t.”

Of course not, I think, looking into her bright eyes. Because she loves this Kash. And she also loves the other two.

How will their story end? I want my best friend happy, but this all seems so complicated. Almost impossible.

Then again, that’s how being with Jarett seems, too, and I’m not giving up on him. Why should she be any different?

It’s during history class that I get a phone call from Matt. Worried something has happened to Octavia or the baby, I grab my phone and run out of the classroom.

“Hey. Is everything okay?” I ask the moment I’m outside. “Matt!”