No Saint (Wild Men 6)

It’s Joshua.

“What do you want?” I mutter, sitting up, not ready for another argument, not today, and unable to rein in my anger anyway. “So Ross is locked up, and I don’t know...” I stop, because my voice is cracking. “I don’t know what to do. Happy now?”

“Listen...” He grimaces, rubs at the back of his neck. Such a boyish gesture. I’ve watched Ross do the same so many times. “I...”

I hear the clicking of doggy paws outside and then Buddy is rushing in, hopping on my bed and licking my face.

“Ew, stop it.” I scratch him behind the ears, and that only results in more enthusiastic licking. “Buddy, stop. God, I need a towel.”

Then Buddy turns to Josh and hops around his feet until Josh relents and bends down to pat the furry head.

By the time he straightens, he has a rueful smile on his face. “I’m sorry,” is what he ends up saying, and I stare at him. “For not trying to understand. But you have to see, Ross hurt you. I blamed him for the years we spent apart.”

“I get it,” I tell him quietly. “Not your fault. Come here.”

I open my arms and he crawls onto the bed to hug me. We rock a little. I smack the back of his head. He chuckles. Just like old times.

“I talked to Ross. He came here, like, two days ago, in the morning, but you were already gone. Early shift, you said. And I laid in on him for bullying you, and chasing you away, and he... he apologized.”

I rub his back, trying to hide my shock. “He did, huh?”

“Yeah. And then I told him that you were planning on leaving Destiny. I was pissed.” He pulls away and a defiant look comes over his young face. “Aren’t you?”

I draw a breath and start to shrug, then change my mind and shake my head instead. “I don’t think so.”

“Because of Ross?”

“No. I...” I think of how Ross never called me, how he may not want me in the long run, and search deeper inside me for answers. “I love Ross. And I love you, and Dad. I think that I wanted to run to avoid my fears. Coming back wasn’t easy... and I’d planned on running away before I had to face them. But that doesn’t work for me anymore. Probably never has.”

“You’re seriously not leaving?” Josh’s eyes are wide, and I hug him again to hide my face against his shoulder. “You’re not?”

“Not yet anyway,” I say truthfully. “Told you, I missed you. You’re my brother. No boyfriend will ever replace you.”

He hugs me so tightly I think he’s going to bust my ribs. Then Buddy is back on the bed, breaking us apart, and Josh groans when he gets his face licked, too.

“He looked so... devastated when I told him,” he whispers, shooting me a sideways glance. “Ross. He looked so bad I even grabbed my bike and followed him around afterward, because... I dunno. I was scared he might do something to himself. But he only went and got drunk.”

I choke out a laugh.

“I never realized that he feels... things for you. I don’t mean love, or anything that gross.”

“No, of course not,” I say, smiling.

“Or maybe it is love.” He sticks his tongue out at me. “Is he your boyfriend?”

“Yeah... I think so.” I sigh, and my eyes burn.

“You think so. Even if he took part in a robbery?”

“He didn’t do it, Josh.”

He nods, face somber, scratching at Buddy’s head. “The local news said it was him, though. Said they have evidence and everything. I mean, I’ve wondered when he supposedly did it. He’d need balls of steel and the stupidity of a gnat to grab a gun and rob a bank, then come look for you and sit around talking to me as if nothing happened—then go on to get drunk and wait for the sheriff to arrest him.”

My brows knit. “Wait a sec... Earlier you said you followed him after you two talked. I didn’t imagine that, right? You followed him through the woods?”

“Yeah, all the way to town. I dunno, there was something in his expression... like he was in pain, and I was getting fed up playing videogames all day, so it was like a real-life game... like, follow-the-suspect-through-the-woods, you know?”

I nod, though my brain has zeroed in on only one thing. “And you watched him until what time?”