Hawk (Sex and Bullets 2)

I gather the covers around me. I was supposed to get dressed but got lost in thought. “Okay!”

Raylin enters, smiling, then laughs. “Oh God, sorry. I didn’t think…” She waves at my quilted attire.

“It’s fine.” I smile back. “Um, sorry for running away from the kitchen last time. I don’t know if Hawk said anything about that.”

“Nope. But it’s fine. Storm and I can be scary at times.” She winks.

God she’s sweet. “Right. Very scary.”

She approaches me hesitantly. “Mind if I sit down?”

“It’s your house.”

“And you’re our guest. Plus, you know.” She lifts one shoulder. “You’re probably not quite used to all this yet.” She waves a hand at the room and makes a face.

I laugh. “And here I was thinking I was weird for feeling uncomfortable.”

“Nah. But it passes. Mostly. I promise. Hawk is in love with you, and that’s the main thing.”

“Hawk isn’t in love with me.”

Her eyes widen. “Did he say that?”

“No, but… he didn’t say he is, either.”

“Oh. Give him time. I mean, can’t you see it? His eyes glow when he looks at you, or talks about you.”

They do?

“Now tell me about yourself.” Raylin leans closer, her dark hair sliding over her shoulders. She’s dressed in dirty sweats and a T-shirt with holes that says “You caught me,” on it. I wonder what it means.

In any case, she’s nothing like I’d imagine the fiancée of a millionaire to be like. It makes me feel more at ease.

“I study publishing at college. My mom moved away to New York. I was there visiting her last week.” God, it feels like years. “My dad… my dad was involved in all of this.” My voice cracks and I clear my throat. “He knew they had Hawk in his warehouse and did nothing.”

“Oh shush, girl.” Raylin scoots closer and puts an arm around me. “It’s okay.”

I nod, embarrassed and yet grateful for her hug. “Okay.” I draw a deep breath. “What about you?”

“My dad is a fraud and a gambler, and I’ve had a bad run in with the Chinese mafia, so you see, your dad and mine shouldn’t define us. They can’t. Now, Hawk helped save my lily-white ass from the mafia, so I owe him a big one. He’s a good guy, your man.”

My man.

Flames lick my face. “Yeah.”

“He’s worried about you. He said you still weren’t feeling so good. In fact…” She chews on her lip. “I will be blunt, okay? Are you on the pill?”

Oh God. “No, I’m not. Look, Raylin…” I pull back from her embrace and fold my hands in my lap, on top of the quilt that’s still wrapped around me. “Hawk knows this. I can’t have kids. The specialist I visited last year said I can’t have kids, not without a special treatment. If that works. So… No, I’m not on the pill.”

“It has happened before, you know?” At my uncomprehending look, Raylin says, “It has happened before that a doctor says you can’t have children, and you end up pregnant anyway. Heard plenty of stories like that.”

“No.” I shake my head. “I don’t believe in miracles. And I don’t want to hope. It’s hard.”

“I understand. I do.” She grabs my hand, pulls it into hers. “But knowing is important, because girl, if you are… Then you need to take care of yourself and the baby.”

A baby.

I’m still shaking my head, but I don’t know why I’m fighting it. “I had my period last month.”