Hawk (Sex and Bullets 2)

There’s no oxygen in here. Struggling to breathe, I lift my finger, take a peek at the small window.

Then cover it again.

Nope.

“Layla?”

“I…” I lift my finger again, unable to stop myself. And stare.

At the twin blue lines.

“What is it?”

“I… don’t know.” I swallow hard. “What do the two lines mean?”

“Oh. My. God. Oh my God! I totally knew it! I knew it!” Raylin grabs me in a hug, and turns me around until I’m so dizzy bile rises in my throat. “It’s positive. It’s positive!”

Positive.

I can’t think. What does that mean? Shouldn’t it be…? There must be a mistake. Because positive means… No, no frigging way.

“I’m pregnant?” Oh God, I’m feeling faint, and I’m not sure Raylin can keep me upright if I pass out this time.

“Sit down, girl, before you fall. And then we have to tell Hawk.”

***

How can life change in the space of three days? The space of an hour? A minute?

One bright, blinding moment in time.

I clutch the stick in my hand—positive, my mind chants, it’s positive—sitting on the bathroom bench and wait for Raylin to go find Hawk.

This can’t be really happening. This is a dream. A vivid dream, but a dream nevertheless. Right?

Miracles, Raylin said. Miracles do happen.

Caught between shock and a rush of happiness so sharp it hurts, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Until he walks into the bathroom, and the look on his face makes me feel cold.

“Layla?” His voice is cool. “Raylin says you took a test. And it’s positive?”

I lift it toward him, because I have no words for this, and he takes it. Stares at it.

I can’t read his face. His expression. Is he angry? Is he surprised? It’s so… blank.

“Is this…” He waves the test at me. “Are you sure?”

Again, I’m thrown by the way his eyes flash. “Yes.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Neither do I. But it happened.”

“You said you couldn’t get pregnant. You worried me and made me feel sorry for you, you cried on my shoulder, and now you’re pregnant, just like that? Fuck.” He jabs a finger at me. “I don’t believe it. Was it all a lie? Or is this test a fake? Which is it?”

My mouth falls open. “Fake? A lie? You think I lied to you?”