The Carrie Diaries (The Carrie Diaries 1)

“Hey,” I say. “We’re like an old married couple.”

“How so?” he asks in a flat voice.

“You know. Eating dinner and not talking. That’s my worst fear. It makes me sad every time I see one of those couples at a restaurant, barely looking at each other. I mean, why bother going out, right? If you have nothing to say, why not stay home?”

“Maybe the food’s better at a restaurant.”

“That’s funny.” I put down my fork, carefully wipe my mouth, and look around the room. “Sebastian, what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing.”

“Well then,” he says.

“Something is wrong.”

“I’m eating, okay? Can’t I eat my lamb chops without you nagging me the whole time?”

I shrink with embarrassment. I’m two inches tall. I widen my eyes and force myself not to blink. I refuse to cry. But wow, that hurt. “Sure,” I say casually.

Are we having a fight? How on earth did this happen?

I pick at my lamb for a bit; then I put down my knife and fork. “I give up.”

“You don’t like the lamb.”

“No. I love the lamb. But you’re mad at me about something.”

“I’m not mad.”

“You sure seem mad to me.”

Now he puts down his utensils. “Why do girls always do that? They always ask ‘What’s wrong?’ Maybe nothing’s wrong. Maybe a guy is just trying to eat.”

“You’re right,” I say quietly, standing up.

For a second, he looks anxious. “Where are you going?”

“Ladies’ room.”

I use the toilet, wash my hands, and peer closely at my face in the mirror. Why am I being like this? Maybe there is something wrong with me.

And suddenly, I realize I’m scared.

If something happened and I lost Sebastian, I’d die. If he changed his mind and went back to Donna LaDonna, I’d double die.

On top of that, tomorrow night I have that date with George. I wanted to get out of it but my father wouldn’t let me. “It would be rude,” he said.

“But I don’t like him,” I replied, as sulky as a child.

“He’s a very nice guy, and there’s no reason to be unkind.”

“It would be unkind to lead him on.”

“Carrie,” my father said, and sighed. “I want you to be careful with Sebastian.”

“What’s wrong with Sebastian?”