New Year Second Chance

Dax nods. “Okay.”

He sits beside me and squeezes my hand.

“Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Thanks,” I tell him.

I know I don’t have all the time in the world, though. In fact, I’ve already lost so much time. And my dad, he’s getting older. And so is Shanna. Her body may not show it, but she’s growing every day.

“What are you thinking of?” Dax asks me.

“That I can’t believe Shanna’s already turning one,” I answer.

I can’t believe I survived a year of buying diapers, changing diapers, mixing formula, washing and sterilizing bottles, cleaning up messes, not getting enough sleep. There were times I nearly lost my mind, but somehow, I’ve survived.

“You did mention that,” Dax says. “When’s her birthday?”

“Sunday,” I say.

Dax’s eyebrows arch. “Already? Do you have plans?”

“Not really. To be honest, I wasn’t sure we should celebrate since it’s also my mom and Sarah’s death anniversary.”

“Hey.” Dax squeezes my hand again. “I know it’s the anniversary of something tragic, and I’m not saying we shouldn’t remember that, but I don’t think it’s fair that we don’t celebrate Shanna’s birthday, either. Lives did end that day, but a wonderful life also began.”

Dax is right, of course. Shanna may not be aware of her birthday yet, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t celebrate it. What happened to my mother and my sister wasn’t her fault. She shouldn’t have to feel like it is.

“Tell you what,” Dax says. “Why don’t I go with you and your dad to visit your mother’s and sister’s graves in the morning, and then in the afternoon, we can throw a party for Shanna.”

I look at him. “We?”

“Yeah. I’ll help you. Why not?”

I have a feeling he’ll do more than help.

I shake my head. “Dax, you can’t – ”

“I want to throw a party for Shanna,” Dax tells me. “And I think she deserves one. Don’t they say first birthdays are the most important?”

I give him a puzzled look. “Do they?”

He pats my hand. “Just leave this to me. I’ll give Shanna the best first birthday party ever.”

I let out a sigh. Yup, I was afraid he’d say that.

Chapter Thirteen

Dax

“Wow. You do know how to throw a party.” Emily throws the compliment at me as she walks to my side with a cupcake in hand. “Trust me. I should know. I’m a party planner.”

And I have to agree, I think as I look around the room. I don’t even recognize it as Jenna’s living room anymore. It’s a winter wonderland. White balloons float up to the ceiling with glittering silver snowflakes tied to the end of their strings. There’s an inflatable pool filled with plush white balls that Shanna loves to swim in. There’s a tent shaped like a small igloo for kids to crawl in and out of – and Emily and Jenna have made sure there are at least five kids in here. There’s this huge polar bear for kids and adults alike to cuddle with. The centerpiece, though, is a blue and silver sleigh with Shanna’s name on it sitting under an arch of snowflakes, each of which has one of Shanna’s baby pictures inside it – a perfect spot for a photo with the birthday celebrant. If she can sit still, that is, which she hardly has. I know she’s only one and she might not remember any of this, but I do think – and I’ve told Jenna so – that Shanna knows it’s her birthday.

Then there are the confections on the table – edible masterpieces of art, really. Cupcakes topped with snow mittens or skates. Cookies shaped like snowflakes. White chocolate truffles. Chocolate logs coated in snowy powdered sugar. Goat cheese muffins for the adults. And of course, the biggest thing on that table is Shanna’s birthday cake. It has just one tier about six inches tall, all white and decorated with snowflakes with a gingerbread castle on top.

I didn’t think a baker could pull that off in just two days, but I guess the planner I hired made her do it. Of course she did. I made it clear to her that I wanted everything to be magical. I paid her a good sum of money, too.

So far, it all seems worth it.

I look at Emily. “Wait. You’re a party planner?”

She pauses in the middle of trying to take a bite out of her cupcake to give me a puzzled look. “I didn’t tell you that?”

“No.”

It’s strange because she’s been so honest with me, telling me so much about Jenna and giving me advice on how to improve my relationship with her. And yet, I barely know anything about her.

“Well, I am.”

“Then I’m sorry I didn’t hire you,” I tell her. “See, the truth is I hired a party planner to do all this, too. I mean, what would I know about children’s parties?”