The Beginning (The Life 1)

We left the store, and I went in search of her honey-roasted nuts. As I walked the few blocks back to the house to drop her stuff off before meeting her at the museum, I tried talking myself out of taking that step, but no matter how I fought it, I knew that the battle was already half lost. Still, knowing what I know about my future, I can’t in good conscience pull her into something with me without giving her all the truth. And that’s the tricky part. There’s no way I can tell her or anyone what I have planned and why.

Before her, there was no question as to where my life was headed. Nothing stood in the way of what I had to do; I’ve always known what that was and never regretted or resented my life. I saw each day as a blessing, every good thing was something the bastard seed of a monster should be grateful for, and I never asked for nor looked for more. But she makes me want more.

She makes me want to shed who I am and be someone who deserves her beauty… “Gabe. Gabe, what’s the matter?” We’d reached the mansion, and I was just standing there in front of the door, not even realizing that I had stopped moving and was lost in my thoughts. “Are you going to tell me what’s been eating you?”

He looked so worried. “Did I ever thank you for being my brother?” See, this is why I didn’t want any part of her or what she’s doing to me. Even he looked taken aback by my bullshit. ‘That’s not something you need to thank me for. It’s an honor to be your brother.” I just nodded as he patted my back before we walked inside.

I still hadn’t made up my mind about her when we met later at the museum or even through the late lunch we shared with the family. While everyone was their usual boisterous self, I remained deep in thought. On the plane ride home, I kept pretty much to myself, just holding her hand because she was still afraid to fly, but without saying a word to her.

Even when we landed, I was still on the fence. It was when Pop pulled me aside just before we got into the car for the ride to the house that I was pushed to make a decision. “Tony called; Fontane has been outside the gate for the last hour or so. They say he’s been coming by all weekend.” It was then I realized Gianna hadn’t once mentioned him all weekend and if she’d called him, which she could’ve done had she wanted, then he wouldn’t be staking out the house. Just how fucking alone in the world is she?

“What do you want to do?”

“Let’s go through the back gate. I’ll take her inside, then go see him.”

“You want me to take care of him?”

“No, I’ve got it.”

“You know if you turn him away now, you’ll be setting a precedent. This isn’t something you can play with; it can get serious.”

“Yeah, I know, but… I can’t send her back there, not right now.”

“Your mother and I can step in, kinda like surrogate parents; that way, you won’t need to be involved.” Is he testing me? Yeah, he is.

“She’s mine to protect Pop.”

“Then do what you want, no matter what, I’ve got you. By the way, Tony said to tell you he put the stuff in your room like you asked.” I nodded okay, and he walked away to give the driver new instructions, and I felt a weight lift from my chest.

GIANNA

Back to reality. As soon as the plane landed, I felt the change. All day, I’ve been avoiding thinking about this, about going back to my real life, but I guess there was no escaping it now. Although I sat in the car with the Russo family, I already felt the loss. The weekend is one I’ll store away in my mind for those rainy days to come because I’m sure I’ll never have another like it.

Even the smell of the nuts I now have in the designer bag Gabriel had bought me had lost their appeal. It’s my fault, though; I should’ve never lost sight of the fact that after all the glitz and glamour of the weekend, life in my house awaited me. I was so lost in thought I didn’t even realize we were going in another direction until we pulled through a different gate on the other side of the estate.

No one was speaking, and I kinda got the feeling that everyone knew something I didn’t. It’s only when we got out of the car, and Gabriel pulled me aside while the others went on ahead that I got a sick feeling in my gut. This is where he’s going to give me the brushoff. Maybe he’d come to his senses and realized he’d been too kind to me.