Grand Slam (The Boys of Summer 3)

“Will you stay, after we get back to my place?” The words slip easily from my mouth, and as his eyes light up, I can tell that he’s surprised. Probably more so than I am.

He stops skating and clumsily maneuvers himself to stand in front of me. “I’d love to.”

I feel like I should add that we’ll be sitting on the couch, drinking hot cocoa and keeping our clothes on, but I have a feeling he knows that. And if he doesn’t…well, he’ll learn quickly that I want him there to keep us company. And by us, I mean Lucy and me, until she goes to bed, and then he’ll go home. Even as I have these thoughts, I know I’m lying to myself. I want him at my place so he can hold me, kiss me, and make me long for a time when I’d be free to submit to him.

We continue to lag behind Lucy until the bell chimes, letting us know that our time is up. As soon as we sit down to remove our skates, a couple of kids come rushing over without a parent or adult in sight, asking Travis for his autograph. Behind us, I hear a few snide comments, but the kids don’t seem to be aware of Travis’s current controversy. I have no doubt he’s going to oblige each and every child, which will prolong our night here. I shouldn’t be jealous, but I am.

I help Lucy remove her skates and take her with me while I turn them in. When we return, he’s still signing autographs and posing for pictures, and this hits home for me. For a brief moment, I imagine what it would be like to be with him, and right now it’d be great, until baseball season starts and he’s running ragged. Baseball is his passion, and the schedule is hectic. I know many wives don’t mind it, but I’m not sure how I’d feel being second.

I sigh heavily as I sit down, pulling Lucy next to me.

“Mommy, why can’t he say no?” she whines as she pushes into me. I know she’s tired, and probably cold. Travis glances over his shoulder at me, and I can’t decipher the look on his face.

“Okay, guys. I have to run,” he says, much to the displeasure of the crowd, which grew exponentially while I was gone. He turns to us and scoops Lucy up in his arms and reaches for my hand. “Sorry,” I hear him say to Lucy. I can’t hear if she says anything back, but when I look over, she’s nestled into his shoulder and her tiny arms are wrapped around his neck. I’m going to have to explain that she has to share her best friend with all of Boston because of his job, and I have a feeling that she may not like that too much.

I half expect Travis to grab a cab, but he continues to walk. His pace is brisk, but I’m able to keep up with him step for step. When we arrive at my apartment, I hold the door for him, because he refuses to put Lucy down.

“She’s sleeping,” he says while we wait for the elevator. All I can do is nod since my tongue is tied, and I really want to cry. She’s never had the opportunity to fall asleep in any man’s arms, only mine and my mother’s. I’m not jealous but heartbroken. I haven’t been able to offer her a father figure, and it seems that Travis is trying to fill that void, whether I let him into my life or not.

I find myself leaning up against him in the elevator, closing my eyes for the brief ride. He kisses the top of my head as the doors open for my floor. The window at the end of the hall shows our reflection, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say we were a family. My heart skips a bit faster at that notion, and I find that the idea of being with him like that excites me, but is it enough to say goodbye to my job?

Travis carries Lucy to her room with me hot on his heels. He gently sets her down on her bed and pulls her stocking cap off. Her hair is matted to her face and he’s the one to brush it away.

“I’m going to leave so you can change her,” he says, quietly shutting her door after he steps out. I start to change her clothes, which is harder than one would think. A five-year-old’s body isn’t nearly as flexible as a newborn’s.

“Where’s Travis?” she asks. Her voice is groggy, and her eyes are still closed.

“In the other room.”

“Can he tuck me in?” she mumbles, causing my heart to skip again. Yet another first, and it’s being done by a man that I can’t let into our lives, at least not in the way he wants to be.

I continue to change her clothes, making sure that her nightgown is pulled down before I pull the covers over her. Most likely she’ll kick them off in the middle of the night and her pajamas will be hiked up to her neck.

Opening the door, I’m startled to find Travis standing in the hallway. His coat is off, but the expression on his face is like nothing I’ve ever seen. He looks hurt, and for the life of me, I can’t figure out why.

“She’s asking for you,” I say, opening the door wider. He brushes past me but not without touching me. It’s subtle, but noticeable.

“Hey, Lucy,” he says as he kneels down next to her. “I’m really sorry about those other kids. I promise that next time I’ll tell them no, or ask for your permission first.” As tears fall from my eyes, he leans forward and gives her a kiss on her forehead. I don’t know if she’s heard him or not, but she rolls toward him, snuggling under her blanket.

I can’t seem to tear my eyes away from Lucy until Travis tugs on my arm, pulling me out of her room. He shuts off her light and closes her door.

“Was I out of line?” he asks when we enter the living room.

“No,” I say, shaking my head as I look at him. “She likes you. She may even love you.”

“And what about you? Do you like me?”

I nod but decide the subject needs to be focused on her. “I think you’re giving her something that I haven’t been able to.”

“And what’s that?” he asks, stepping closer.

“A father.” My voice cracks, but the title isn’t lost on him. He knows what I mean.

“Honestly, Saylor, I like the thought of being someone that she depends on. I know the deck is stacked against us, and I’ve only been coming around for a few weeks, but she has me wrapped around her finger. And the way I see it, either I leave and never come back, so I can break these bonds, or we do something about it.”

“I think we should do something about it.”

“Like what?” he asks, inching closer to me.