American Honey

I turned to face him. “Why is that? Shall I make it a shrine to our all-night lovemaking?”

He chuckled. “No. That’s not what I was implying.” Once again he ran the back of his hand over my cheek. “With a little work I can see this place being a lucrative business. Do you know how many people dream of being able to make money from the comfort of their home? I mean, I get that you like the city life, but that’s not for everyone.”

“I’m starting to think that it might not be for me. Before my aunt died if someone asked me if I liked my life I would have said yes. Something’s changed though. I can’t explain it. It’s like I’m seeing things clearly for the first time. As much as I wanted to be successful, I haven’t been living. I’ve got no friends, and no time to see my family. I spend my weekends knee deep in paperwork. What’s wrong with me?”

Reed shrugged. “If only my problems were that easy to figure out, Erica.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? You said you were traveling, looking for new business opportunities.”

“I’m looking for my place in the world. I’m in my thirties, and besides my Harley, I have nothing to show for. You’ve got two places to call home, and I have nothing. It’s difficult to wrap my head around.” He looked over and noticed that the fire was almost down to nothing. Pulling himself away from me, he reached over and threw the remainder of the logs in.

If I had a clue how to run a bed and breakfast, I’d ask him to stay and help me, but the truth was that Reed was just passing through. There was no way someone so conflicted could settle down just because we slept together. It was like going on a first date and telling someone that you were in love with them. It didn’t happen.

Besides, he’d been open about looking for a place to settle down, and never once mentioned wanting to stay here. “You’re right. I have nothing to complain about. I’ve been very fortunate, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be unhappy.”

“You and I have a different opinion on happiness.”

I didn’t like how he’d said it. It was almost as if he was saying that he didn’t like the way I was. “Why would you say that?’

“I’ve never needed material things, or wanted to have the biggest and best things. I could pitch a tent on a mountain top and learn to live off the land.”

I pictured him with a long beard, covered in years worth of filth. For some reason he stilled seemed remotely attractive. I smiled and had to look away so he didn’t ask what was the matter with me. “

I guess all those years in the military taught you that, but I disagree about it making you happy. Eventually we all need someone to share our life with, well we want to at least.”

“I get the feeling that this conversation is more about me than it is you, Erica. Perhaps we should talk about something else instead.”

I leaned forward, breaking the distance between us. “Or maybe we could get back to what we know we’re good at.” With one brush of my lips over his we were right back to where we started. He pulled me close and I knew we’d be up for at least another hour, making our night together something that neither of us would easily forget.

Chapter 4

The sound of a bird chirping woke me. I lifted my head off of the pillow and realized that I was still lying on the floor, naked, and alone. I looked around the room, searching for Reed, but he was nowhere to be found.

Panic hit me when I thought about him getting up and leaving before we could say any kind of goodbyes to each other.

With no regard for having nothing on, I ran towards the front door and opened it. When I didn’t spot him, I grabbed a blanket to cover myself up and ran to the back yard calling out his name over and over. Then I fell to the ground. He’d promise me one night and nothing more. He probably knew that I wouldn’t be good with watching him leave, so he did it when I fell asleep.

It hurt me.

I knew that last night was just sex, but I kind of hoped that maybe we connected enough for him to want to stick around for a little while. Feeling like I was used, I walked over to the porch swing and sat down. The tears came fast and I couldn’t stop them if I tried.

If only my mother knew what I’d done with a complete stranger she would have disowned me. I felt so ashamed.

When I couldn’t calm myself down, I headed inside of the house, determined to erase any sign of Reed. I started with the candles, particularly the thin candlestick that he’d used to drip the hot wax on my body. I grabbed the empty bottles of wine, and even the flashlight to head into the kitchen. After tossing everything but the light in the trash, I leaned over the counter and looked around. The house was too quiet, reminding me how alone I really was.

More sobbing occurred, until I knew I needed to just head upstairs and sleep it off. Reed was gone. I’d never see him again and I had to be able to get over it.

A little later I heard the sound of a motor. It wasn’t just any motor. It sounded like a motorcycle. I ran down the stairs as fast as I could, picturing him jumping off of it and running towards me. Obviously that wasn’t how things went.

While standing on the porch in nothing at all, I watched him parking his bike and heading in my direction. He was still shirtless, but had put one of his pairs of shorts back on. “Morning.”

I crossed my legs and waved, feeling a bit shy, even though he’d seen everything I had. “Hi.”

“Can you grab me a bottle of water? I’ve been out here working all morning. I figured I’d go up the road where I parked my bike last night to fetch it. There’s trees down everywhere. I saw the power company working on the lines. Hopefully it will be on shortly.” He reached for a branch that was on the ground, not even realizing that I’d spent the past hour freaking out.

I ran into the house, grabbed a bottle, and came back outside.

After handing him the water I’d planned on going inside and putting some clothes on, but Reed had a different plan. I’d no sooner turned and started heading for the house when I felt the blanket being pulled off. I spun around, shielding my body with my hands the best I could. “Reed, we’re outside!”