Lost in You (Lost in You 1)

“It’s not what you think, or maybe it is, I don’t know, but I can tell by the look on your face that you’re scared. Hell, maybe you should be.” She shakes her head and takes a deep breath. Hadley and Alex are so different. Where Hadley seems calm, Alex is on edge. “Your age is going to be a problem. Her uncle isn’t going to like any of this when he finds out.”

I look at her, not knowing what to say. I know I’m only seventeen, but surely Hadley knew this before inviting me.

“Hadley likes you, Ryan, and she has no intentions of letting your age affect a relationship between the two of you.”

Hadley and I haven’t discussed anything, let alone a relationship. I’m not stupid. I know she can do better than me. I’m just a boy from a small town who has nothing to offer her. I’m here making memories that will last me a lifetime. Ones I’ll only be able to share with myself.

“I can tell you’re confused.”

“Maybe a bit,” I reply.

Alex turns me so I’m facing her. Her hands are firm on my biceps. “She likes you a lot. If you think yesterday and tonight is how she is, you’re sadly mistaken. The only reason you’re with me now is because you’re seventeen. She needs to protect herself.”

“She’s embarrassed?” I ask.

“Hell no,” Alex says. “She’s breaking the law if she pursues you.”

I hadn’t thought about the law or how being underage affects her. All I’ve thought about is how Hadley makes me feel when I’m next to her. Not even next to her, but in the same room. It’s like I’ve never seen the sunshine before until I met her.

I stuff my hands into my pockets and step away from Alex. I don’t know how to respond and I’m still confused about something Alex said. “What did you mean by ‘how she is’?”

Alex reaches for her Coke and takes a drink, keeping the glass in her hand. “Hadley doesn’t pick up fans, ever.”

“I’m not a fan.” I blurt out.

Alex shakes her head. “Anyway, you’re someone special, even I can see the way she looks at you. Hadley likes you and I don’t think she’s going to let you go.”

A group of people approach us, silencing our conversation. Alex turns and leans against the railing, chatting animatedly with the group. She doesn’t introduce me and I’m okay with that. I’d rather not know any of these people. Alex is working, I can tell. She pulls out her phone and starts talking about Hadley’s appearances. It dawns on me that this could very well be the last time I see her. She has a life away from here, a real one. One that requires her full attention and that’s something I can’t compete with.

She’s not going to have time for a high school senior. I should’ve told her no when she asked me to attend this party with her. I should’ve left her on the balcony last night and saved myself from hearing what I’m sure she’ll be telling me later tonight.

I step away, Alex doesn’t even notice and I walk back into the party. I scan the crowd for Hadley, but don’t see her. That’s my sign. I know it is. Taking a deep breath, hands in my pockets, I resign myself to accepting that whatever this is, or was, with Hadley is just a dream. With one last look around and a silent goodbye, I head for the door.

“Why is it that every time I go looking for you, you’re about to walk out of my life?”

I turn and find Hadley behind me. Her dress is bunched in her hands, as if she’s about to start running. She motions toward the room we were in earlier. She looks behind her briefly before walking over there and opening the door. I follow her in and shut the door behind us. She opens the second door, the one leading to her room. She waits for me to enter before shutting and locking it behind me.

“You were going to lea

ve without saying goodbye?” she turns, her brown eyes penetrating mine.

“I was just trying to save myself from the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech I’ve heard about before.”

“That’s not fair,” she says as she moves closer to me. She lets go of her dress, her finger in my face. “I want you here with me. I wish I could show everyone out there that you’re my date and not Alex’s. You don’t know what it did to me to see you treat her so well.”

My eyes immediately go to her mouth. I can’t help it. I’m a guy. She licks her lips and leans toward me. She knows what I’m thinking and maybe she wants me to kiss her again. Her hands rub up the lapels of my jacket, her eyes on me.

“I don’t want you to leave, Ryan. In fact, we need to figure this out tonight so I can see you tomorrow and make plans to see you again on my next break.”

“You can have anyone—”

She silences me with her lips. My hand finds her waist, holding onto her as if I’m afraid she’s going to go away. Her hands leave my jacket, one moving into my hair and the other pressing under my jacket against my white dress shirt.

Her tongue traces my bottom lip, my mouth opening on instinct. When her tongue touches mine, my mind explodes. Heat soars through my body, urging me on. My hand grips her waist tighter, pulling her closer. My free hand cups her face. My thumb gently rubs along her cheekbone until I spread my fingers out behind her head, holding her to my mouth.

She pulls away. I’m not ready. I’m desperate for her. Hadley rests her forehead on my chest. Her hands leave my hair and circle my waist. I hug her back, taking advantage of her exposed skin. I place small kisses on her shoulder, her neck, purposely staying away from her mouth because I know if I return there I’ll want more.

“I’m here for one more day,” she says, tilting her head, giving me more access to her neck. “I want to see you tomorrow.”