Lost in You (Lost in You 1)

I nod.

“I think I like the idea.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, I mean, I still won’t have a car, but I’ll walk if I have to just to see you.”

I run my fingers through his hair, moving his bangs away from his face. “You’ll never have to walk to see me. I’ll send a car or meet you someplace. Or hell, maybe pick you up at your house because I’m determined to win over your parents.”

“I don’t want to talk about my parents, but I do want to talk about you buying a house here. I like this idea a lot.”

“It was Alex’s.”

“I think she’s going to be my best friend.”

Ryan’s lips find mine and this is how we spend the rest of our night, into the morning. We don’t sleep, sharing kisses and covert touches. When he holds me, whispering into my ear how he feels so different with me, I want to wrap us up in a bubble and take him with me. I don’t want to leave this moment.

When the sky turns light, we break apart. I help him clean up the used candles and put the blanket back. We walk hand in hand to my car. He kisses me quickly before he runs off down the road without looking back.

The only reason I get behind the wheel is because in six hours I’ll be seeing him again.

CHAPTER 19

Ryan

Leaving Hadley at her car wasn’t my idea of fun, but I stayed out later than I had planned. My dad wakes up early on Saturdays. I intended to only be out for a little while. Oh who am I kidding? I’d still be with Hadley if I knew I’d get away with it.

I’m trying to pace myself, but the longer I take, there’s more of a chance that my dad will be awake and looking for me.

When I hit my street, my biggest fear comes to life. The garage door is open, he’s awake, but his truck is gone. There’s a chance he knows I’m not home or he left earlier and didn’t look in to wake me up. I have no way of knowing. I have only one decision to make. Sneak in or walk in through the front door like nothing is amiss.

I do the latter. Better to face the music. Walking up the path, my mom is sitting in the living room. A vision from last night flashes before me. She’s dressed in her casual Saturday clothes of gray slacks and a white dress shirt. She’s doing a puzzle. Her table is set-up in the living room. Her hand moves slowly as she looks for a place to set the next piece. When she finds its destination, she picks up her coffee cup and takes a drink, her eyes never leaving the puzzle board.

I wonder if she’s happy. When I look at Hadley, she’s always smiling. Her eyes are so full of life that you can’t help but be curious about what goes on in her life. Her laugh, it makes you want to tell her jokes just so you can hear the sounds she makes. My mom, she doesn’t smile or laugh. I can’t remember a time when she did. That thought alone makes me sad. Shouldn’t my dad want her to be hap

py? Isn’t it his job to make sure his wife, the woman he took vows to love forever, is always smiling?

I take the last few steps and enter the house. It’s quiet, the clank of the door shutting echoes throughout the house. She shifts, her eyes only looking up briefly before she looks back at her puzzle. I thought for sure she’d smile at me. I’m her son, is she not happy that I’m home?

I don’t know what to do. It seems that since Hadley came to church, my mom has been more withdrawn than usual. I wish she were more like Dylan’s mom, active and vibrant. Mrs. Ross is always peppy, sometimes too much according to Dylan, but at least she smiles.

I sit down on the couch, rubbing my hands on my jeans. I stop quickly when she turns and looks at me.

“Mom?” my voice cracks. She looks up briefly, before picking up her next piece.

“Go change your clothes, Ryan.”

I look down and realize that I’m in the same clothes from yesterday. I get up without hesitating and head to the bathroom and take my five-minute shower. I put on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt before making my way back into the living room.

She hasn’t moved. Or maybe she did get up to re-fill her cup, but I doubt it. Her legs are crossed, just as they were when I came in. It’s as if she’s a statue. Maybe she thinks if she moves, she’ll crack and fall to pieces.

I pull a chair from the dining room and sit across from her. Doing a puzzle upside down doesn’t really have any advantages, but it is quality time with my mom. I see a slight hint of a smile when I pick up a piece. I try not to stare, but seeing her cheeks rise, even for a brief moment, is nice to see.

“Who’s the girl?” She doesn’t look at me when she asks. Her voice is soft and caring.

I take a deep breath and place my puzzle piece in the proper location. “Her name is Hadley Carter.”

“Yes, I remember that much, but who is she… to you?” Her eyes meet mine and I can’t tell if she’s upset or not. There is no emotion coming from her.