His Temporary Assistant

“Really good wine. Really shitty day.”

“And what happened today, Ry?”

“If you don’t take that Carol Brady tone out of your voice, I’m going to stab you with your wand.”

“Stop threatening my wand.”

“Then why did you bring it?”

“Because I knew we needed a little extra today before I even came over. You see, dear listeners, Ryan has a wee little problem with her love life.”

I tried giving her all the signals for cut and hell no, but she ignored them. I slurped more wine. “I don’t have a love life.”

“Which is your problem.”

“Bottom drawer boyfriend begs to differ. We can take care of ourselves, right, ladies?”

“And gentlemen.”

“And non-binary,” I added helpfully.

“Either way, we all know we can take care of business, but it doesn’t make up for that delicious weight on top of you. Or you can be the weight.” Luna’s voice went smoky and low.

“I do prefer to be on top.”

“See. Now we just have to get you—”

I gave her a hard stare.

She cleared her throat. “A man to play with. Shall we throw some cards?”

“Can we look in the Tramp Box instead? I’m sure there’s listeners that have much bigger and better problems than mine.”

“Nope. Special episode. Let’s see what we can do with Ryan’s troubles. I already did her love spread with a certain someone and it came up full of fire. She just doesn’t want to face it—or him.”

“We’re not talking about that.”

“Ry, you need someone to pin those long legs behind your ears and do you good.”

I was in the middle of taking another sip of my wine and choked. “What did you say?”

Luna shrugged. “Don’t sound so surprised. There’s nothing wrong with needing a good di—”

I held up my hand. “Got it.”

“Do you though? Do you really?” She threw down three cards and picked up the middle one. “Look at that Ace of Wands coming up again. Fire, girl. All the fire is coming your way.”

“What if I don’t want to get burned?”

Luna reached over the table and covered my hand. “But what if it’s a beautiful bit of amazing in the ashes?”

“What if it’s just ashes?”

Luna sighed. “We have so much work to do.”

Eight

Tuesday