Rushed: Christopher (The Four 4.50)

“I thought they’d be ashamed of me,” I admitted.

“Who? Your parents? For leaving the army?”

I nodded.

“They weren’t,” Christopher said without hesitation. It wasn’t a question, and he didn’t seem to be looking for confirmation. As far as he was concerned, he was just stating a fact.

“How do you know?” I asked in surprise. The young man was an enigma, and I was enjoying peeling back all the layers that made him so much more than what he appeared to be at first glance.

“They raised you into the man you are, Rush. There’s nothing cowardly about doing what was right for you. Being who you are. You loved them very much. That’s obvious from the way you talk about them… from the heart. You had to learn that from somewhere. They were proud of you. I don’t need to have met them to know that.”

I found myself squeezing his fingers just a bit harder. “You’re right. They were very proud of me for following my heart.”

Christopher nodded his head like he’d won a bet. I found myself smiling. “How’s your hand feeling?”

“Starting to feel it now,” he admitted.

“We’ll be there in a few minutes,” I said. I paused and then added, “Soooooo, you never answered my question,” I pointed out.

Christopher looked at me in confusion.

“How did you know I left the army after my first tour?”

When his cheeks reddened, I felt my insides jump, though I had no idea why. Maybe the idea of him thinking about me even once after we’d first met appealed to me.

More than it should.

“Christopher?” I said in mock warning. “Spill.”

CHAPTER SIX

CHRISTOPHER

I couldn’t make sense of how I’d gotten myself into this mess.

Any of it.

First off, to be so stupid as to even let Rush get close enough to me for physical contact to be an issue…that had been off-the-charts stupid.

But then to flounder about like a dying fish and land on the sharpest object in the vicinity simply because the man released me exactly like I’d asked…

And now this.

Damn it. When would my words and my brain agree on things before I said them out loud? Especially around this man?

Okay, well, truth be told, that particular problem seemed to only occur around this man.

And if all that hadn’t been bad enough, to then go and admit the secret I’d been hiding for the last six months of my life…

I knew he was going to ask me about the HIV. I knew I was going to have to beg him not to, just like I was going to have to beg him with everything I was not to tell my family.

My heart began to pound in my chest. Each painful thud was accompanied by a sharp, stabbing pain in my head. I closed my eyes in an attempt to stave off the tornado of emotions that wanted to spill from my throat.

The same ones I’d kept imprisoned from the moment the doctor had sealed my fate with a few simple words that alone meant nothing but together meant everything.

“Christopher?”

Rush’s voice was full of concern, and his hold on my hand almost bordered on painful. But I welcomed his firm grip. I used it to try and ground myself.

It just wasn’t enough.

“Did it live?” I managed to grate out, even though it felt like broken glass was being raked along my brain.

“What—?” Rush asked worriedly. I managed to look at Rush as the car slowed down and he began letting out soft curses as one car horn after another went off behind us. I figured it had something to do with me. I suspected he was trying to find a place to pull over.

“Rush,” I managed to call out. “I’m okay,” I lied.

“The fuck you are,” Rush growled. “You look like you’re going to fucking pass out—”

It was only when Rush began to pull his fingers free of mine that I truly began to panic. I saw him grab his cellphone.

“Rush, please” was all I managed to get out as flames of unbearable heat pulsed throughout my entire body.

I must have finally gotten something right in just those two little words because Rush dropped his phone in the cup holder and then covered my hand with his. The car began to speed up again, and the horns stopped.

“Did it live?” I repeated. “The rabbit?” Just speaking those few words felt like it had taken every ounce of energy in my body.

“The rabbit,” Rush softly repeated. The concern in his voice was apparent, but he had a calmness about him that helped slow my racing heart and eased the pounding in my head. “Yeah, she did. I named her Thumper because it was the only rabbit name I could think of besides Bugs, who was clearly a guy, and the Energizer Bunny, which was just wrong…”

Despite the direction his answer was taking, I couldn’t help but find it both amusing and relaxing.