Kiss and Cry

I blinked at him as he shimmied back into his bathing suit, my heart fluttering from the way he’d said sweetheart. Which he’d directed at my cat, I reminded myself.

Wake up!

I tugged up my cold, damp bathing suit and tried to shake off the hazy aftershocks.

“Can I give her a treat?”

I nodded, and Theo disappeared into the kitchen, opening the right cupboard with a familiarity that swelled my heart dangerously. Esmeralda zoomed after him, and he murmured to her, the package crinkling.

When he returned, he watched me carefully. “Do you want to lie down?”

What was he saying? Did he want to go to bed together? Did he think I was about to pass out? Had we really just done that? What did this mean? What was going to happen next?

I thought of sleeping beside him in Torino, or when he’d napped in my bed during his migraine. How innocent he looked as he slowly woke, licking his lips and blinking blearily.

“I have early practice.” It was true. I didn’t know what I wanted or what to say, so I said that.

For a moment… Did he look disappointed? Hurt even?

But in the next breath, he was grinning carelessly the way he did so often. “Think of me fast asleep when you’re dragging ass out to the Chalet in the dark. And I’ll see you for the Christmas Eve group session thing. Right?”

His smile faltered, and my heart skipped as I nodded. Biting his lip, he slowly reached out to take my chin. He turned my head and leaned close, pressing his lips to my cheek the way he had in that rainy alley in Torino when I’d followed him to make sure he didn’t get hurt in his dazed grief.

I held my breath as he lingered, only a whisper from my skin. When he stepped back, he huskily murmured, “Sweet dreams.”

I watched the door thud shut behind him, knowing I had a sleepless night ahead.

Chapter Eleven

Theo

“Are you sure you don’t want us to give you a lift?” Ga-young’s mother asked with a polite, totally nosy smile.

“I’m sure!” I replied, jerking my thumb at Henry. “We’re already going to the same place. It’s cool. We won’t kill each other. Not on Christmas Eve, anyway.”

“Maybe on Boxing Day,” Henry said flatly.

Ga-young, her parents, and I all turned to Henry in surprise. Was that…a joke? It made me stupidly happy as I followed him out to the Ice Chalet’s snowy parking lot.

I’d been really tempted to haul ass out of bed and come in early with Henry, but I didn’t want to… I don’t know. Pressure him, I guess?

In the Honda, we were alone for the first time since my favorite blow job of all time. So far. There were some strong contenders in the running, but sucking Henry and undoing his buttoned-up reserve had been amazingly good.

As I fiddled with the heat vents, I stole glances at him. He drove with his hands at ten and two like usual, checking his blind spot before changing lanes and adjusting the windshield wipers to combat the wet snow falling.

Does he regret it? Did he like it? I mean, he came in my mouth, so obviously he liked it on a physical level, but did he like it in his head? Is he secretly mad at me? Would he give me a ride if he was? He’d wanted me just as much as I wanted him. Right? Or would he pop a boner for anyone massaging him in a hot tub? What should I say? Should I ask him to turn on the radio so this terrible silence ends? Or will that make him think I don’t want to talk or—

“Do you want to make dinner tonight?”

His question startled me out of my anxiety spiral. “Yeah!” I winced. “But I can’t. We’re doing our big Christmas thing tonight on Zoom with my parents and sisters and uncles and aunts and cousins and stuff. We’re spread all over these days. Everyone makes their own food and we eat it together and talk.”

“Mm.” He adjusted the wipers. “I’m doing a call with my family in the morning before I see my grandpa.”

“Right, cool. Sorry.”

His brow furrowed. “Why?”

“About tonight. Because I would really rather have dinner with you.”

He glanced at me, and a tiny smile tugged at his lips.

Yes! “And hey, if you want company visiting your grandpa, I could come with you. Only if you want. Would that be weird? I don’t want to make it weird.”

But if he wanted to see me tomorrow, I could give him my gift. Excitement sparked in my veins. It was probably a stupid idea, but I’d prepared it just in case and figured I could give it to him if the opportunity arose…

After a few moments, he said, “You’d like to come?”