The Complete Irreparable Boxed Set

you get hurt—physically or emotionally. I don’t want to see you get used, and I feel like maybe you’re not looking at things clearly because of your feelings for him.”

“I’m not—”

“How old is he? Do you not know?”

Pursing her lips and glaring at the wall, she sighed before answering, “He’s 32. Actually, probably 33 now.”

“And you’re 18.”

“Almost 19,” she objected.

“Right. Well. I’m just saying, based on my experience, 33-year-old men with families don’t make great boyfriends for gorgeous 18-year-olds. That’s the situation as I see it. You know me, I’m not gonna sit here and judge you, I just want to make sure you know you do have someone to turn to if you need anything. I don’t want you to drop out of my life now—we’re still friends, right? Like you guys were friends,” he said, smirking lightly.

Willow rolled her eyes, but her face warmed in response. “Of course we’re still friends.”

“And if he has a problem with that, he can take it up with me,” Brian stated.

“What are you going to do, challenge him to a game of beer pong?” she joked.

He slanted her an unconvincing look of censure.

Willow smiled. “He won’t have a problem—well, it doesn’t matter. He gets a little jealous, but he isn’t controlling. It won’t be an issue.”

Brian nodded. “Good. Then here’s what I can do for you. For the time being, subject to change in the distant future if I meet someone cool enough to be my new girlfriend, I won’t publicly end our relationship at all.”

Frowning in confusion, Willow asked, “What do you mean?”

“I’ll be your beard,” he told her, smiling ironically. “You don’t have to tell your parents we broke up, I’ll leave our relationship status as-is; when you’re over here, we’ll take the occasional selfie to keep up appearances. As far as your parents can tell, we’ll still be a couple. In fact,” he added, leaning toward her and pulling out his phone, “let’s do that now.”

She was still confused as he put his arm around her, drew her to his side, and placed a big, sloppy kiss on her cheek. Willow scrunched up her nose and closed her eyes as he snapped. Brian pulled back and looked at the picture, grinning. “Perfect. Sharing right now.”

“Ethan’s gonna love that,” she stated.

Brightening, he asked, “Does he check your shit? Aw, that’s epic. I’m gonna have fun fucking with him.”

“No,” she said, shaking her head, but smiling at the same time. “No fucking with him.”

“Guy stole my girlfriend and I’m going to cover his ass so he can bang her; I think I’m entitled to fuck with him.”

Unable to argue that point, she shrugged.

“Can’t get enough of this girl,” he read as he typed, cutting a grin in her direction. “Just gotta tag you… and… there we go.” Clicking his phone shut with relish, he looked back at Willow.

“You’re such a jerk.”

“No, I’m awesome, remember? Maybe your new boyfriend won’t believe you dumped me—maybe he’ll get to feel like the side dish this time.”

“I’m not worried about that,” she remarked, rolling her eyes.

“I should sext you later.”

“You better not,” she warned. “I’ll kick your ass.”

“Leave messages all over your shit about how much I love you and how the sun shines out of your ass.”

Standing, she said lightly, “I’m leaving now.”

“Your eyes shine like stars in the midnight of my life,” he professed, clutching his heart.