Because of You (Because of You 1)

"Okay... so of course, knowing this, you just had to date him. Makes perfect sense," she said sarcastically.

"We aren't dating," I insisted.

"Well... you know you guys don't have to hide, right? I mean, Kayla will be pissed, but she'll get over it, she always does. You two should sit with me at lunch one day or something. Maybe Derek won't dislike me so much now."

I nodded, opting not to tell Steph that for some reason Derek just didn't really like her, and it wasn't because of me. When I would bring Steph up he would usually roll his eyes and make some remark about how dumb she was—which of course she wasn't, and I always told him so. But he also considered Kayla incredibly dumb, so I decided maybe it was their entire group he thought had no brains.

Stephanie and I had a nice dinner after that, and we didn't bring it up again. I did start to talk to her excitedly about one of our assignments, and I saw her interest fade, a tolerant but disinterested smile on her face, so I decided to just wait until later and tell Derek about it.

That was one of my favorite things about spending time with Derek. I enjoyed his company even when I was pretty much ignoring him. It was not uncommon for Derek to come over to my house just so I could curl up on my bed and start reading a book. He would try to steal my attention, but I would always tell him, "Derek, I'm reading."

"Of course you're reading, what else would you be doing?" he would reply.

He would go on to ask what I was reading and why it was so important that I read it right then instead of later when he would be at home. Of course I would respond with a campaign about whatever book I happened to be reading, and more often than not (especially with my "The Bell Jar has been compared to Catcher in the Rye, Derek!") I would end up curled beside him with his arm around me, and he would give in, reading along with me.

I still didn't like to be around Mike, so I seldom went to Derek's house. The only time I would go over was when Derek absolutely promised me that Mike would be at work, so I wouldn't have to see him. I don't know if it bothered him that I disliked his father so much, because we tried not to talk about our parents very much.

Anytime our families came up Derek got really weird on me, and usually he would start being kind of mean to me again after what I could only assume was a reminder of what had happened so many years earlier. So we pretty much avoided that topic altogether.

Once in a while we’d talk about things that I would have never expected us to t

alk about, but it just came up.

For instance, Friday night after my dinner with Steph, Derek and I were in his room doing homework, and I was jotting down a couple books from the "Further reading" suggestions in our textbook. Out of the blue, Derek asked, "Where are you going to college?"

I was lying on my stomach on his bed, so I glanced up at him. "Oh, I don't know if I'm going to college."

He frowned as if I had said something incredibly stupid. "Are you kidding? How could you –of all people—even think about skipping college? You love to learn more than anyone— everyone I've ever known."

I sighed, shrugging it off. "I can't really afford it. The most I could do would be community college, and there's nothing I want to do that I can do with a two year degree."

"So do what I'm doing," he said. "Go to community college for two years, then transfer to a bigger university to get your bachelor's degree."

"That would still be expensive, Derek. I don't even have any more time to save up money, just this year."

He shook his head. "I just can't believe you would skip college. It seems insane to me."

"Well, if college didn't cost thousands of dollars, I would go, but... I don't have parents to pay for my education and I don’t want to take out a bunch of loans, so..." I shrugged again, going back to my assignment.

"So pay for it yourself," he suggested.

I raised my eyebrows, looking up at him again. "With what? My good looks?"

He smiled. "You can try that, but if it doesn't work you can get a different job. Wendy's probably isn't going to cut it, but as much as you love books, why don't you get a job at a bookstore or something? Just the employee discount would probably be worth it for you," he half joked.

"I would love to work at a bookstore," I said, smiling at the thought.

"So do it," he said simply.

"I can't, Derek. The closest bookstore is 20 minutes away from here, Alex hardly lets me borrow his car as it is. It's a nice thought and everything, but it's not that simple."

He shook his head. "You are one confusing person, I hope you know that."

I smiled jauntily. "I'm a walking anomaly, but I like that about me."

"I like that about you, too," he said, bending his head and kissing my shoulder.

I merely pressed my lips together as his kisses moved closer to my neck, and then he started to try to coax me over onto my back.