Irreversible Damage (Irreparable 2)

“Good, morning, Sunshine.”

I’m riding a high, delighting in his bright smile. “Yes, it is,” I agree as I try to fight him off from hugging me. “Brady, stop. You’re wet.”

He ignores my protests and pulls me close, smothering me with his wet body. “I love you.”

I push him away and walk into the kitchen where I start brewing a pot of coffee. Brady follows me. “I thought you had practice this morning.” It’s why he told me we couldn’t spend the night at LaFonda’s.

He shrugs. “I did, but I called it off to spend the day with Andrew.”

I come crashing down hard as the never-ending doubt creeps into my thoughts again. He didn’t cancel to spend the night with me at our favorite place. I shake it off, disgusted with myself. I hate the insecure waif of a woman I’m turning into. I plaster a smile on my face before Brady notices. “Perfect! What should we do?”

Brady nibbles his bottom lip. He looks down and mumbles under his breath. His eyes lift to meet mine with a hint of ambiguity. “I promised to take him to the Wild Animal Park.”

“Great, I love it there.” I see his face twist as his brow creases. I know what’s coming.

“I kinda told him it would just be the two of us.”

“Oh.” My lip starts to tremble. I bite down on the stupid thing. Get a grip. He should spend some alone time with Andrew. “Okay.” I play nonchalant. “Yeah, you two should have fun.”

His hands grip both sides of my arms. My gaze falls to my feet. “Look at me.”

I lift my head to meet his eyes.

“It’s not that I don’t want you around.”

I start nodding like a lunatic as my mind tries to sort out where the hell I’m ever going to fit into this picture.

“He doesn’t know me. He’s nervous, and I thought that for today it would be best if I hung out with him without any distractions.”

He has no idea he’s just kicked me in gut with the truth. The truth about what I truly mean to him. I’m a distraction. It’s the word I’ve been looking for since Mona died. The one I felt but could never put my finger on. I’m a distraction from his music, his friends, and now his son.

I offer him a weak nod, stepping away from him. “No, you’re right. Andrew needs you.” I need him, too, but I won’t tell him that. I don’t want him to see that our relationship is hanging by a thin thread and that Andrew’s arrival might have very well snapped it. That would be a “distraction”. I force myself to look at him. “Have fun.”

He smiles. It’s one of those smiles that tells me he knows something’s wrong and he wants me to tell him. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

“Of course.” I shrug, feeling even more insecure. Brady would never have had to ask me before. He would have known I was upset and fixed it immediately.

“Thanks for understanding.” He plants a quick peck on my cheek. “I’m going up to change. I love you.”

When I look out the sliding glass doors, I realize it’s time to let go. I ward off the memories of the night I lost Mona and go out to the deck where Andrew is at the table, laughing with Liv and Harrison. Liv’s eyes meet mine as I sit down next to Andrew. It’s obvious we’ll be having a long talk later.

“Hello, Andrew.” I smile at him.

“Hello.” He looks at me, but doesn’t smile. “My dad’s taking me to the Wild Animal Park, and you can’t come.”

“Andrew! That wasn’t very polite,” Liv scolds him.

“No, Liv. It’s fine,” I reassure her, although on the inside I’m dying. This kid will never accept me. I fight hard to keep my smile intact. “I’m sure you’ll have a blast with your dad. He’s looking forward to it.”

“Yep.” He smiles up at me, though I know it’s only because he’s happy I’m not going.

The slider opens. Brady comes out to the deck. He’s changed into jeans and a deep blue T-shirt. It’s the one that make his eyes look even greener. It’s my favorite. His eyes go right to Andrew, and he smiles. “Hey, buddy, you ready to go?”

“He’s ready.” Liv gets up from the table and picks up a bag from the ground. “I changed his clothes and packed you a bag. Anything you need is in there. Don’t forget to put sunscreen on him or he’ll burn.”

I want to roll my eyes. The kid has Brady’s skin. He’s not about to burn. It dawns on me that even Liv gets to be the auntie she’d planned on being for Mona. I feel like running. Why are all of my thoughts so petty?

When Brady and Andrew leave, Harrison takes a hint from Liv and tells her he’s going to the Center and will see her later.