On The Ropes (Tapped Out 3)

The thought made me giggle, and I smothered it against his chest. All too soon, the laughter turned to tears, and my shoulders shook from the force of what I was holding back.

All I wanted was to love him and have him love me back. Just like this. No guns, no drama. Why was that so impossible?

“Tesoro, don’t.”

I sniffled. It would be easy, so easy, to lift up my face to his and whisper what I held inside. To share with him the wonder and terror that I’d known for the last week and a half since I’d found out I was pregnant. But even beyond my love for him was my desire to protect my child. I would never risk him or her, even if my heart yearned to tell him the truth.

For the first time in my life, something was more important to me than myself or my selfish wants. I would never, ever take chances with my baby.

So I stayed silent and suffered.

When my tears had eased, he moved back a fraction, still not separating himself from me. I wasn’t the only one who was reluctant to part. But when he reached up to lift his rosary over his head and dipped it over mine, I tried to hold him back. As much as I wanted that chain around my throat, it signified something I wasn’t ready to acknowledge.

I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. Would never be ready.

He simply overruled me, nudging away my fussing hands. And once the skin-warmed beads touched my skin, I was sunk.

“This will keep you safe,” he murmured, lifting the dagger to his lips. He pressed a kiss to it then kissed me, as softly as a dream. I was so afraid I’d open my eyes and he’d be gone.

That I’d imagined this whole thing.

“Don’t leave.” My voice shook as I hooked my hands behind his neck and brought his foreh

ead to mine. “Please. Not yet. It’s too soon.”

“It’s too late.” He kissed me again and slipped back, breaking the link of our bodies. “Let’s get you back to bed,” he said gruffly. “I’ll stay until you sleep.”

I shook my head, eyes streaming. I wouldn’t sleep. I couldn’t. Because once I did, he would be gone.

And I feared I’d never see him again.

But I slid off the sink, pressing my feet to the cold floor. Getting my bearings again before I had to take the first step away from him.

We crept back to the bedroom, where Fox’s mother was still sound asleep. I crawled into the sleeping bag, already numbing myself. I wasn’t going to cry anymore. If this was the way things had to be, then I would accept them.

Then he lumbered to the floor without making a sound and lifted my head into his lap. Even though the position was horribly uncomfortable, I clung to his strong, muscled thighs and gave into the shudders that finally had free reign. They went deeper than tears, right down to the marrow of my bones.

When I opened my eyes again, the gray light of morning had crept into the room. The empty room.

A glance at the clock told me I’d slept through half of my morning class. And I couldn’t even dredge up the concern to care.

By now, Mrs. Knox would’ve dressed and gone to her job at the clothing store. Mia would probably be at The Cage, and Fox would be in school. Everyone had gone to the places where they belonged.

I didn’t belong anywhere. Except with him.

My hand closed around the rosary around my neck. The dagger dug into my palm, and I welcomed the burst of pain. It was better than being numb.

When I couldn’t bear to sit and stew any longer, I dragged myself into the bathroom to take care of business. After, I dressed in jeans and a sweater, barely even aware which ones I chose. I called Jenna and left a message thanking her one more time for dancing for me tonight and promising I would repay the favor with one equally as amazing. What, I had no idea.

Right now, even taking a full breath was a challenge, but it would get better. It always did.

Remembering the stuffed dog he’d left on the fire escape, I rushed back to the bedroom window. Just as I pulled up the sill, I saw the black Escalade idling at the curb on the side street below.

Gio. Oh, God, Gio had come back.

I slammed the window shut again and whirled to grab my purse from the doorknob. I ran through the apartment and out the front door, dancing around a yipping Vey who wanted to play. I was in such a hurry I barely remembered to lock up. Jeez, I was like a silly schoolgirl. But knowing that didn’t keep the smile from my face as I jogged down the flights of stairs to the lobby and out to the street.

And breathed a sigh of relief that the truck was still there, waiting. He’d waited for me.